when I was young (around 30), I thought people were guilty until proven innocent. Now at my early 50s I thought people were innocent until proven guilty. I’m more optimistic and more lenient now.
Until 29 I trusted everybody. They could lie & cheat fifty times and I’d still trust them the 51th time. Finally at age 29 did I grasp the idea that people were sometimes lying to others and hurting others on purpose. I know, others understand that at age 5 or so, i was a little late.
Then I didnt trust a single person for a few years, or only my son.
Now I’m inbetween. Lean to the trusting side in a happy mood, to the distrustful side in a paranoid or sad mood.
I genuinely believe that most people are trying to do the right thing. Life isn’t easy, it is very hard, and sometimes there are challenges that people face where it doesn’t bring out the best in them. That doesn’t mean they are inherently nasty - just that they didn’t manage a particular situation correctly. I believe there are very few, genuinely nasty people out there. And these people are usually good at pretending to be good people when they’re not. That’s how they manage to hurt so many people. So i take an innocent until proven guilty approach. After all, who am i to judge. What makes me so friggen amazing that i get to hold court over what other people are like. I believe i’m a good person just trying to get by in life. I’ll make mistakes and make the wrong choice, but i honestly try to do the right thing by myself and other people.
I think ‘Guilty till proven innocent’ goes with the territory when it comes to paranoia especially if like me you have had a past history of being bullied and negative peer reactions. I’m more likely to think people are potentially hostile until I get a sign or signs that they are not.
Of course to know that you have to get to know people , putting yourself at risk if you get involved with the wrong kind of people . Some people can lure you in by being superficially nice and welcoming but once you’re in their spider’s web…