I got clean in 1990. I don’t miss drugs at all but my drug use was a 4 year chunk of my life so I do occasionally think about my past use of drugs and my life back then.
With the schizophrenia and the crack addiction in the late eighties my life was a mess and a lot of messed up things happened to me.
The drug lifestyle is not simply going to a drug dealer down the street for five minutes, buying $25.00 you saved up and getting home and smoking a joint with a friend and laughing a lot and then going about the rest of the day and taking care of your daily responsibilities.
There is so much more negatives and a lot more trouble to it than that. Addiction or heavy drug use involves being places you don’t belong with people you should not be around. It means risking getting in trouble with the law and affects your personal relationships with other people. It often means stealing, lots of lying, possible violence or the threat with of violence, conning and just a lot of uncomfortable situations.
This describes my addiction and many other people besides me when I was using. This is briefly why I do not miss drugs or drinking.
I was an addict for 10 years. From 16 to 26. It was mostly weed, but it was weed every day. When I got the chance, I did other things. I did a lot of cocaine and a bit of pills and amphetamine and MDMA. But it’s the weed I miss. My day revolved around getting high every day, for 10 years from the time I got high the first time at 16. Nothing made me feel better than weed, and I don’t think anything ever will again. I know a lot of people say you can’t get addicted to weed. But I’ve been addicted to both cocaine and weed, and I don’t ever miss cocaine.
I had two breaks. They lasted a few months each. I’m worried that if something very stressful happens, I’ll smoke again and my life will be all about weed again. I know I will never feel relaxed again like weed made me feel relaxed. And nothing will ever be as interesting as everything was when I was high.
I’ve not drank in years, if i could go back in time would never touch the stuff, Never went to AA or anything, just got tired of it and the damage it was doing. I get ill thinking about it, so I know I will never go back to it
I still sometimes have nightmares about using drugs, and I’ve developed somewhat of a phobia for sunrises because of the cocaine and amphetamine. The fear of both weed and stimulants is still very real to me.