Awkward realisations in the back of my mind
Songs making sense where they should not be
Answers to questions I don’t want to find
Voices of the night are taunting me
Killing me slowly, word by word
a sentence is forming inside of my brain
I’ll make sure my thoughts are never heard
I’m never making the same mistake again
If it was up to me, the train would not leave
the boat would not sail, and the plane would not fly
I cough, and I wheeze, I gag, and I heave
I’m choking at the thought of saying goodbye
I know it won’t happen, but still, I am scared
If my thoughts were made known, you’d leave right away
I’d never admit out loud how much I cared
But somehow, I fear, you’ll know anyway
This is really sad, that your fears drive your actions in such ways… It’s a horrible feeling that your thoughts are not private.
Feel at ease. It’s just a poem. It does not necessarily reflect his/her state of mind.
Just because I can relate, it touches me… When I write it reflects my mind state, maybe just feeling over sensitive at the moment…
if you feel that your thoughts are heard, do some reality checking. ask someone you trust if they can hear what your thinking.
I don’t know if I’m breaking some sort of unwritten rule by explaining, but I would just like to say that I’m 99,9% sure people can’t hear my thoughts.
The poem is written from a wish that a certain person in my life with great skills of perceptions wouldn’t pick up on signals about my inner feelings I might be subconciously sending out through body-language and phrasing, and thereby want to stop being in my life.
ive had the idea that i was breaking some sort of code by bringing it up. some sort of game where i would lose if i spoke about it. I think its just an internalized idea that we get because of how rarely it is brought up. but one word of advise is that people do pick up on body language and how you speak. I find that its easiest to be yourself and have confidence in the things that you do. But this feeling that you were describing can make think before you say a little scary.