Please help me im on edge

i had this overwhelming darkness come over me. i was looking through messages of me and one of my exs (who i still talk to ) and i cried. he teached me so much. we still talk but hes a dick.

i feel so much pain in my heart my heart has been turned black by this evil spirit. i need to kill demons in my dreams to make them go away. they are after me because i have potential but im also vulnerable. they steal my energy and emotional capacity

i tried to meditate and talk to my spirit guide. i wrote nonsense down in automatic writing but it helps.

i feel like im going to get nowhere in life and that i need to kill myself to be free from this pain that i feel . the pain is overbearing me i cant take it anymore. ive been cursed for 7 years.

its all a test to see if i can be strong or not. i need some guidance. i dont know who to talk to . everyone is out for themselves. i dont know where to go and i need absolution before i die

I find prayer the only place to turn at those times.

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First of all don’t kill yourself that is never the answer. Plus maybe there are things that you can do in life. I don’t know everything about you so I’m gonna kinda throw things out there. You could try to go back to school to get a degree. Maybe you could have a hobby. You could try different art and crafts and the like. Like writing you could try to write a book. There are many things you could try to do to improve your life. I don’t know all the things in your life but I’m sure that things are completely bad. You said before that you have a job that is more than I have. I don’t know if what I said helps at all but don’t kill yourself that is never the answer. Get well soon. Maybe it is a schizophrenic symptom. You may need to try and get a hold of your pdoc. Or if things are bad enough emergency care. Take care.

Can you call a crisis line? That’s what I would do if I felt overwhelmed by negative emotion. I keep the crisis line number in my phone for that very reason. Maybe call a crisis line or consider going to the hospital. I hope you start to feel better.

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@SP2342 i went to school but had to get a medical leave because of mental illness. idk when im going to start back up. i dont know what i would even study. i want to help people i just dont know how. ive been writing poetry but have self defeating attitudes about it thank you for the reply, take care as well

@47average if i called im scared they would make me go to the hospital and they wouldnt understand :frowning:

@arrgghh Why are you afraid of the hospital? Have you had a bad experience?

Don’t try to fight the pain…that way its going to be only worse
Try to be with your pain, try to feel that emotion and just listen to your body, breathe and try not to think much.

It will affect you only that much as you let it to.

Try to imagine your feeling right now as a storm you are placed into and try to think how you just have to sit silently and wait till its passed.
And it will pass.
Meanwhile, after you calm down, ask for therapy session…sometimes even a talk helps.

We care :purple_heart:


i dont know. i have had good and bad experiences but in this case …it seems futile. i go way too often . its too expensive i owe like 3,000$ in hospital bills already

thanks, this message helped me @Sarad

i tried to sit with my feeling. i just felt darkness and pain in my heart. its being taken over out of my control. i have to fight that but i understand what you mean. you have to sit with the pain to understand it and to let it pass

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@arrgghh Do you have a family member or friend that you can talk with about how you’re feeling?

If you feel you’re a danger to yourself, please consider calling a crisis line or going to the ER. These resources are there to help you.

I mean, there is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed with pain. It is a human thing, either we would be a plants. Oh I think even the plants feel. (:
I get that your problems viewed from this moments perspective seem unbearable but you are hurting right now and everything seems bigger and scarrier than it really is.
What are a couple of problems to the fact that you come so far, being so cool and intelligent and unique human being with a great hair cut?!

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yeah i talked to my roomate a little and i feel kind of better…



I see. You don’t have insurance. I understand. Sometimes, if you call the crisis line, someone can come and sit with you and talk with you. At least where I live they can. Are you eligible for Medicaid? I mean, for future reference in case you need to go to the Hospital. I hate going to. It’s boring and I feel like they don’t do much for you BUT, in my case, sometimes I needed to be there because I was so paranoid or so psychotic that it was my only option to be in a safe, appropriate place. If it ends up being your only option, your well-being comes first, even if it means getting a bill. I hope you feel better, though, and don’t have to go that route.

i do have insurance but hospitals are expensive. im in the process of getting medicaid right now though . thakn you !

:slight_smile: Good Luck 15151515151515

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Hi, I’m new here and I really hope you don’t mind me giving you a suggestion but I really think you should stop talking to your ex if he makes you feel bad. Also, i think you should see a therapist to vent to, idk if you ever have before but it worked for me. Please feel better!

he makes me feel bad sometimes but he was my mentor for a while. we have a deep connection that is hard to cut

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im a warrior and thats why this pain is put on me

" those who have lost everything no longer have anything to fear."

Don’t even try to think about offing yourself. "Every day Is a struggle but you gotta fight."
Here is some help posted on this forum. I asked it to be pinned at the top of each category, but they can’t do it yet.
They will talk to you and help you calm down. Plz text them…
Crisis Text Line serves anyone, in any type of crisis, providing access to free, 24/7 support and information via the medium people already use and trust: text. Here’s how it works:

  1. Text START to 741741 from anywhere in the USA, anytime, about any type of crisis.
  2. A live, trained Crisis Counselor receives the text and responds quickly.
  3. The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment
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thank you so much. i would text them but im a little bit afraid theyre going to track me plus what would i say