Please delete my account

Thank you.

@Ninjastar

@SzAdmin

@anon4362788

Thank you. Please anon too.

Hereā€™s the process for account anonymization.

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Why dude? What happened?

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I hope you reconsider your decision.

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Iā€™m a lurker John I like reading your posts donā€™t leave. I sometimes believe I got tortured by mk ultra or they give me trauma my hospital stay was hell and think I got ptsd from it. Your a intellegent guy donā€™t leave man

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Hey. I post whatā€™s on my mind. Not every thought or feeling of course. But sometimes itā€™s very overwhelming.

I donā€™t like some of the stuff I post because it makes me paranoid and sometimes I delete what I write or get paranoid and want to delete my account or anonymize it. But Iā€™m addicted to this forum. Sometimes, I donā€™t get the response I want or need. I cannot please everybody or expect people to sympathize or accept some or parts of my story. There may be some honest errors in there because some of it is ā€˜past lifeā€™ memories, which is the paranormal part of my self. I get dreams and daylight flashbacks or recall or visions as some might call them.

I might stay for a while. Like I said, I donā€™t enjoy what I post. Everything I post is delusional to people here ā€“ even UFOs and aliens, despite millions of people believing in it in America. Whoā€™s the delusional one, now?

I do get some support and consider some of you guys as friends and enjoy the chat. Thereā€™s a small part of this forum that I empathize and recognize with ā€“ especially in this thread.

See, I want to have a future. Like go to school or at least work a part time job even if itā€™s minimum wage. I figure there are some people that donā€™t like me, trolls, shills, ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– ā– , and people that reported me. My grandmother had a visit some time ago. I know what I post, but I do it to get help. Iā€™ll never get the right help. Iā€™m sure military type people who go to the VA have it 100x worse than me. Iā€™ve never been in the military or real military, but I say stuff like MK-Ultra and worse to get help because I experienced something in this life and cannot remember. I have vague ideas and memories, but cannot recall stuff perfectly. Itā€™s hard to know and who to blame. Do I blame the aliens, also?

Thereā€™s so much corruption out there. Itā€™s unfathomable. I never knew it was this bad. Itā€™s incomprehensible.

I consider myself ā€˜psychicā€™ and can see different possibilities or timelines like a quantum computer. Itā€™s hard to describe and accept and understand to others.

Part of me wants to be a math major or a computer engineer or something. I donā€™t want to ruin that chance and opportunity.

Life is just stressful. I get paranoid after I post my experiences and life and it ruins my day to say the least. I feel like Iā€™m being watched a lot and I hate it. I have to live my life and function the best I can. I would love to talk to someone but itā€™s straight to the loony bin. Iā€™m tired of going there and donā€™t get help anyways. I donā€™t trust them anymore and itā€™s just a waste of time and resources for me. My meds are the best theyā€™ve ever been. You cannot medicate the truth unless you literally want a lobotomy or to be unconscious.

I do know Iā€™m being watched. My life was destroyed mostly because of schizophrenia. But I think the hospital was worse than what happened to me in college. I donā€™t even like talking about the college. I donā€™t even think I like that school anymoreā€¦

I have problems with my dad that are unrelated to this. He has no empathy and he even admits that. My mom and step-father donā€™t believe half of what I say because they are very Christian. My step-father doesnā€™t believe in aliens. My mom sort of thinks something happened to me as well as my sister ā€“ somewhat. They are more open minded. I rarely have contact with people. Perhaps, I donā€™t like most folks anymore.

Thereā€™s some evidence and I left some notes and some stories to them if I die someday or ā€˜disappearā€™.

Despite MK-Ultra being a proven program and has been documented, televised, been discussed in congress, has been admitted, and talked ad nausea, and thousands of victims talk about it, I still get flak. I still get told itā€™s a delusion here and from my family and from therapists and doctors. Every damn doctor or mental health worker I talk to has no feelings or empathy for me. I told them my story ā€“ even social security. I feel theyā€™re worthless to me in some way.

At least I get allowed some freedom here and some help and am not truly alone here. I like that.

The whole system is flawed. I donā€™t want to sound paranoid, but you cannot trust anyone really. They never heard of it or deny it happening. Canā€™t even get a proper PTSD diagnosis ā€“ not that it would help me. They told me Iā€™ll never get affirmation or acknowledgement or VALIDATION for my experiences. I get told itā€™s real to me, but not real to them.

Thatā€™s why I feel odd and donā€™t trust anyone except my family. Life is very weird especially for me.

Even my current doctor (county) has little empathy. Iā€™m sure he makes $500K + a year with benefits and I get the cold treatment. Heā€™s been a decent doctor. Sort of like Doctor House. If it wasnā€™t for my mom, he would be a 5 minute doctor and would be horrible. I donā€™t know what I would do without my parents, really. I probably would ā€˜doctor shopā€™ and get accused of Munchhausen by proxy by incompetent people and people with their nose stuck up in the air.

I donā€™t like talking too much and getting into specifics. I tend to post on various websites. Not really anymore.

Donā€™t be surprised if I delete this post.

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