Pixie cut - and such sadness

DX'd - Other
#1

So today I finally cut my hair in a very short pixie cut after six years. Felt so free! My sister and nieces loved it and said short hair suits me and makes me look younger and funky. I dyed it with red henna as well yesterday

But the newfound freedom comes with sadness too. Leaving my husband is the right thing to do but the hardest thing as well. I love him and I’m going to miss him - even though he was very negative and argumentative and has illness

He told me that he found out by religious scholar today that hes not obliged to pay me maintenance even now with separation unless I live on my own. But I told him how can I live on my own?? Don’t have job or house or licence. I live with my sister now and I need my family’s support. Must find out tomorrow from muslim judicial council the true facts. I always thought maintenance was due to me till actual divorce.

The reality of being on my own is starting to sink in. I feel so scared of my future. I feel like I just want to end it all…

I’m glad I have my sister and two brothers to help me! But I need to find a work-from-home from home job really quickly!

At the moment I feel so miserable - and this effing covid doesn’t make it any easier! I’m sick of wearing masks and I’m sick of hearing about it!!! When the eff is it going to effing END??? Why did the damn thing get so out of control??? Why does this crap happen???

My life is crumbling around me. So much danger, so much loss, so much grief :sob::sob::sob:

I’m taking 300mg amisulpride now every day because I’m at high risk for relapse. I’m in such a horrible place in my life right now! :sob::sob::sob:

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#2

best of luck to you earthchild. you write so well, i hope you get that job you want soon.

judy

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#3

We all wear masks here too. I don’t mind it at all. But the lockdown has been hard. I miss meeting with friends and socializing. You are lucky to be living with family.

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#4

Hope things smooth out in the near future.family is good.
The masks benefit on top of protection from corona is also protection from colds and general flu.

#5

Congratulations on your hair.

It sounds gorgeous.

I know you have wanted to cut it like that for a long time but haven’t because of your husband preference to Long hair.

Now you can be yourself and wear your hair the way you want.

What else can you do that you couldn’t before?

I think you are doing really well and I think you will be fine.

Can you apply for financial support until you get a job?

As salamu alaikum!:slightly_smiling_face:

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#6

Thanks @SacredNeigh7. Was alaykum salaam :blush:

I can also wear hijab (headscarf) the way I like - covering head but not neck (hubby wanted me to always cover neck) and wear hippie necklaces

And I have MUCH more free time alone so it would be easier to get a job as I’d be bored if I don’t

And I can listen to music with others openly (I used to have to do it in secret)

I’m planning on applying for disability

True! That is big advantage. This past winter was the first time in ages that I never caught cold

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#7

In my daughter’s class a Muslim girl who always wore a hijab wrote in her Graduation School yearbook…

“I never once had a bad hair day!”

I thought it was a really cute thing to say.

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#8

That’s so true @anon39054230, I never have to worry about my hair :blush:

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#9

Please don’t “end it all”. Things are dark for you and all over the world, but us misfits have got to stick together.

I’m glad you are enjoying your new hair and hopefully your new freedom. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It can’t stay sad forever.

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#10

As- salamu alaykum is a greeting in Arabic that means “Peace be upon you”.

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#11

When I left my first husband, I got a pixie cut too. Great minds think alike! Now my hair is really long. My current husband likes it long so I’m only getting trims every six months.

I’m sorry you’re scared and sad. The best way to handle the fear of living on your own is to have everything planned out and ready before you move out. Get the job, figure out where you’re going to live etc. then move out. Good luck!

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#12

Does the Quran prohibit music? If he won’t let you listen to music he’s way too controlling for sure.

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#13

No it doesn’t say anything about it

#14

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