Pick Up Lines From Unemployed Male SSI Recipients To Rich Women

  1. Hey baby if we lived together we could have almost $4,000 in assets plus what I have in my ABLE account. Isn’t that a lot of money?
  2. Can I live off you?
  3. If you don’t care I don’t care.
  4. Hey if we hitched up I could sit around your house and pump iron so I can look pretty for you.
  5. I’ve got a ■■■■■.
  6. Hey baby one of my meds went generic and they only cost $1,500 a month now. Surely you can pay for that right?
  7. Could you take me out for a date.
  8. I’m just a gigolo and everywhere I go…
  9. Are you lonely tonight because companionship is what I can provide.
  10. You know the President said that someone can rise above welfare. I figured you can help me do so.

Here’s one more:

  1. As the Beatles said, “All you need is love.”

yeah baby I’m about to be rich too, a man on the radio said in code that tonight’s winning lotto numbers are hidden in the serial number on this dollar bill, so, wana hookup?


Here’s a slightly more educated one. “Hey lady have you heard of the Wife of Bath from the Chaucer Tales. Her last marriage was just for love because she could. Why don’t you do that for me?”

It’s easier to fall in love when you are worth millions of dollars, good looking, and the most popular band in history.


How about, “just how liberated are you?” Are you liberated enough to support a man instead of the other way around?


Or…“Hey baby, once you go schizo, you never go back.”

Or…“Hey baby, I love your eyes, they’re the same green as my SSI check.”

Or…Hey baby, let me show you around town, but you pay for everything."


Paul McCartney didn’t think “All You Need Is Love” when his second wife left him and got a big settlement. Or possibly picking her up at her age and looks.

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I’d like to thank all the women who considered me before they learned about the value of money. I didn’t take you because I was afraid of making you pregnant, and other complications from being on SSI and living so long with my Mother but at least you gave me lots of false hope. Now as I sit in my low income box six apartment and notice how time has passed me by along with my looks and I have become too out of shape almost to work I look back at all the meaningless conversations and all the times you woke up from your naive state and found someone better and say I’m not angry at you any more. Money does matter and once you are put on SSI for something like schizophrenia it’s almost impossible to get off of it. I hope you raise your kids well with the man bringing home the bacon and you are actually still in love with him even if the main incentive for being with him was to pay the bills.

Will you marry me? You can claim me as a dependent on your taxes.


Because of the meds, my income is like my schlong. Gets up for like a few days at the beginning of the month. But it’s always small :sob: do you wanna get Married :flushed::flushed::flushed::flushed: no pressure :crazy_face::crazy_face::crazy_face: but oftentimes the women’s side pays for weddings so you can still have a nice wedding…


Hey doll, it’s the third of the month and I have nothing to do.

That’s funny. 1515151515


Yeah, I kind of liked it too.

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“Hey sugar, I’ve got just what you want. A huge ten-inch…pile of bills that I sure wish you would pay for me and then afterwards I would show you a good time.”


“Ummm, could I have your money?”

You’re right. It was more like “Helter Skelter”.

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