Phoning too much

Health and Recovery
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I’m phoning a relative too much—about four times a day. I don’t talk for long, just five or ten minutes. I rarely complain, or show signs of negativity. It’s just to touch base, but we both have nothing new to say. How do I stop calling so much? What do I replace it with? I’m so isolated. I tried chatting with the local distress centre, via their chat option, but most of the time the person on shift is juggling several other people, and I am left waiting for five minutes for their next response. I could phone them but it’s easier to chat than to phone someone, and I don’t want to tie up their lines.

This forum has been a good distraction, and a type of socialization, but it’s like there’s this giant hole in me that can’t even be filled by the forums I go to.

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My mother in law phones up to about 10x a day. She has very few friends and her husband is now in long-term-care because of dementia.

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You could get a cat. They’ll keep you busy what with the playing and petting and playing

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Are there any support groups or mental health meetups you could join?

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I thought about that, but I can’t afford one right now. I’ll need to make some changes to my apartment too. It’s not cat-proof (I’ve got a set of 3, staggered shelves, that go from small, medium and large). Maybe in the future, I’ll be a cat mom.

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The meetups are all being done on zoom. I can’t get past my paranoia and install a webcam. Hackers could use it to watch me. I’ll join a support group once covid dies down, but that might be a while, because we’re heading toward a 4th lock down. :frowning: Thanks for the suggestion though.

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What about virtual NAMI meetings? You could join and explain you’re uncomfortable with being on camera. But you can turn your mic on and be involved that way

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Literally just unplug it as soon as your are finished with it. That’s what I do. I don’t know about hackers. I’m more concerned with the NSA TBH.

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What I do with my camera is tape a bit of paper over it.

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It is hard, the feeling of isolation. Maybe you could try talking to a peer support specialist? I have had one for years and she’s amazing. We don’t even necessarily talk with each other about the issues I have, mostly we exchange recipes and I enjoy her company. It’s kind of a no pressure social situation because peer support workers are people who have had their own mental health/addiction struggles. Just an idea?

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ha, I can’t imagine running out of things to say,
but that’s just me.

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Have you tried journaling?

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I did but it just made me angrier about my life. I should start writing in my gratitude journal. That made me feel better.

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I was on a waiting list for a peer support person, but it was taking months to get one, so I cancelled out of it.

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Oh that’s too bad, when I used to journal it was all kind of one thing. Anyway it was an idea.

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