It can bring u the greatest of highs and the lowest of lows. It can make u feel like a complete person but it can also break u. In my opinion love is the strongest drug in the universe. I can’t deny im addicted to intimacy and neither can society. Look at 90% of music and sitcoms. In high school u were looked down upon if u didn’t have a partner. Our whole species survives on love. But then a friend the other day said “whats the point of loving someone else if u can’t love and be happy with urself.” Its so hard to feel love for urself when u feel like u don’t have romantic love. Even i am constantly striving to find love thinking it will fix all my problems and end any suffering i may have. What do u think about love and even love for urself?
If you’re me, you gotta learn to love yourself before loving others. Maybe other people can self loathe and find mates, but I’m not so lucky, being sz and all, I gotta find self love before anyone else loves me. Is it fair? No. But it will be beneficial in the long run. All these years without a mate has made me stronger, when’s girl realizes how great a person I am, how I love myself, and how much love I’m willing to give, the universe will make more sense to me.
Sometimes people who hate themselves get married and have kids and get stuck with a miserable existence…that won’t be me, cuz I’ve been forced to learn how to love myself.
Relationships start with infatuation…then love…then friendship. The first few months with a new partner are the most exciting.
Then after 26 years like me, you say to your wife, “Honey! Where’s that…er…thing?”
To which she replies…
“It’s on the top shelf of the bedroom closet!”
After so long together, you can read each other’s minds.
To me love is like the prism of all emotions. It can evoke all of the emotions. Rather than being an emotion unto itself.
If I love someone, this will activate all of my emotions, different ones at different times. I will be angry if someone hurts or threatens the person I love. I will be sad if my loved one is hurt or sad. I can share their happiness when they have good fortune. I will fear for them if they are in danger. I might feel jealousy if their attention is placed elsewhere for long periods of time (even though I would hide it and try to act mature). At the same time I could feel excitement upon seeing them if I haven’t in a long time. And so on and so forth.
There is a sort of universal love, as well. I would feel angry if I saw anyone being hurt by another, but the effect is just magnified when it’s that special, focused love on a particular person.
Then there is self-love, which is often the foundation of emotional experiences in general.
For the longest time I feared emotions and thus also love, and had to realize for myself that I was simply not utilizing emotions appropriately.
I think it is important to love yourself before you allow another to love you, or before you allow yourself to love another. But it doesn’t always work out that way.
Sometimes when you don’t love yourself, the right partner can help you do that.
My partner and I were friends before starting a relationship. And he is my best friend now, no secrets, no judgement.
I don’t have the world’s best self esteem, and I don’t like myself very much at times. But if it weren’t for him telling me, reminding me, of the lovable facets of me I might not ever know them.
I believe your friend is right, and that you’re right too.
Being lonesome is not easy, but in some cases is preferable.
If I don’t learn how to respect myself, how will I find respect from people around me? It’s a major battle for me really, and it takes baby steps to be able to only recognize where the problems are.
Intimacy is difficult for me too. Nowadays is so much easier to be casual, lie and hide things from the people we’re with. I have major trust issues because of it.
Anyway, it’s possible to find someone to share value with.
This topic was automatically closed 3 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.