Schizophrenia.com

Personal Problem

So here it is. I was watching a religious movie and I paused at 1:39. One minute and thirty-nine seconds. It seemed to me a problem that I couldn’t finish it at 1:40. I am so upset over this that I think that I am going to go to hell if I don’t convert from my religion into Christianity. What do you guys think? Has anything like this happened to you before or am I the first one?

I don’t really get upset if I can’t finish a movie, regardless of what the topic is about. I also don’t feel upset if I don’t watch “religious” movies like the Passion of Christ, Noah, and so on. God doesn’t care what you watch on TV. In this day in age I don’t think God really even cares what religion you are as along as you believe in him, his son, and the holy Ghost. I think he has bigger problems than how we label our belief in him. I was born in to the Catholic faith, and still consider myself Catholic even though I don’t go to church, rarely ever any more.

Yet the other day I was in the mist of a serious depression attack brought on by voices that I cried out to God for help, and I still swear I saw an angel shine through my window. It wasn’t the form of a person, more like a star, skeptics could say it was a head-light from a car but I think it was way too high up in the window for that and I had never seen something like that before…I’ve lived here 3 years. Then after I saw the image the voices died down and the depression subsided. I felt better. I still believe it was in intervention through him, and had I not noticed the flicker of light I don’t know where I’d be today.

God is God, and is something far beyond what any human can fully comprehend. You can spend your entire life studying the bible and still not know the grand power that is God. God created man, yet man created religion supposedly as a way to not only worship god but govern each other…which is what most organized religions is about, governing not faith.

This is just my opinion on the matter though, I’m not an expert. I’m not even full sure what I believe is right or wrong. The only I know is I believe in God, I believe in Christ, the holy spirit, the Virgin Mary, the power of the Saints, and the forgiveness of sin. But I am accepting of what others want to believe. Don’t try and force yourself into a belief of God simply from watching a video…

I don’t think that not finishing a movie by one second means you have to convert or you’re going to hell. You’re inventing meaning into a simple non-incident. I believe in a higher power and I am a Unitarian and I am pretty sure that my god would not want me to give up a lifetime of faith and belief in his particular way and have me leave him and convert because of one second in a Hollywood movie. Nothing specifically, or exactly like that hasn’t happened to me and I can’t think off-hand if anything even similar to that has ever happened to me

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Thanks for the feedback guys. I’ve been feeling guilty about even posting my dilemma. The issue is I can not fall asleep so I have resigned myself to posting online. I need a new topic to talk about every time it seems, something new to worry about. These new worries are culminating in my inability to sleep and I feel as if I shouldn’t be part of the discussion at all. All the time I have fear. Sometimes I feel as a snitch for even posting. I wonder if you’ll have any replies to this at all.

I muddle through a lot of religious thinking like you. I’ve been reading a lot about atheism. A lot of it makes sense. For instance, how could a loving god send people to hell for such little crimes? I’ve also been reading about near death experiences a lot, and most of them seem very real to me. Thank god most near death experiences are euphoric.

there is nothing wrong with posting hunni. please don’t feel like a snitch for wanting human company and feedback. we r always here to talk to. that’s the whole point of the board :slight_smile:

Relax, post what you want within reason and taste and the guidelines that the people who run this site have posted. DEEPLY religious postings are discouraged because they can upset people and be triggers. But hey, it’s basically a friendly site, we are all fighting something we have in common. Ask questions, answer questions, make comments. We’re all equal, everybody battles fear. I’ve read stuff here for 5 years that is way weirder than what you wrote, lol…

That’s an interesting statement, that organized religion is about governing rather than faith. “And the government shall be upon His shoulders.” reminds me that it is the wish or religions to be the governments.

I think of the way the Catholic church is strongly governed: You have the pope (the over all head of the institution), then the bishops (also known as archbishop), priests (Can be known as reverend, pastor, priest, or father), and then the members or followers.

There’s rules we follow during times such as lent where we’re supposed to give up something we love for 40 days and nights (to represent the time Christ fasted and went in the desert) then we also don’t eat meat products on Friday’s during lent. Catholics are supposed to be against gay marriage/rights, against divorce, abortion, and using counter pregnancy tools like birth control (be cause technically we’re not supposed to have sex before marriage, then the whole purpose of marriage is to have children and raise them to continue on in the church teachings). and we’re supposed to confess our sins regularly to the priests (which is one thing I never really understood, but theoretically because the priest is supposed to be next to God he acts as a vice that offers forgiveness, but whatever I never understood confession. I guess I never felt the need to really confess to anything…

Anyway back onto topic, this is all rules made up by man, or the heads of the Catholic Church. Mainly to keep people in order and not going out and committing sin every day and causing ruckus. I don’t agree with everything the church stands for, I personally am pro gay rights, (I think you should be able to love who you want to love), I think women (even married) should be allowed to take birth control…and so on. I could go on but I’m loosing tract of my thinking. I don’t know about other religions but I know many religions have their own little laws and rules they must follow, like one big one I know that Jews are supposed to only marry other Jews (at least it was that way when I was growing up because we had a family friend that was Catholic and had to convert to Judaism when she wanted to marry her Jewish boyfriend.

Many of the rules in place for humans to follow probably don’t even relate to Heaven. Yet they were in place by the heads of the church for us to follow on Earth.

I simply focus on what is right and what is wrong concerning mankind and how we should all get along together.

If I had chosen to belong to a specific group, then I would have excluded others.

This leads to divide and conquer rather than do what is best for the all.

Please realize, there is no one version of Christianity & versions differ so greatly, the churches only follow a pastor and do not even open the bible – situations true of anti-christ do happen. This is especially true of non-denominational mega-churches…

Intermittent computer glitches are frequent with schizo…I was told if you try to make some money with your computer equipment, it may not break so quickly. I cannot confirm this but I was told there was a law suit in California if you have any way to look & understand my drift… You have to keep quiet as sometimes people will harass you about not working a minimum wage job instead of getting a check & doing gigs…Social Security doesn’t care if you are getting SSDI & you earn under $700. In some cases, this is the only ‘person’ you should tell by sending letter with details. I had intermittent computer failures 10 times of everything electronic in my place before I found this out…Unfortunately, so many male attorneys are leading a sleaze private life, you may not be able to find anyone who would help you with this complaint unless you get pictures of whatever is going on sometimes. Female attorneys can be more okay than males…Talk to the cops & sometimes you get a psych evaluation if you don’t have pictures.

I highly recommend the Kirk Cameron movies about apocolypse if you want to broaden things. Read up on all versions of Christian things & watch their behaviors, many are hypocrites. (This statement sounds off…There is too much to worry about & I found a lot of false advertising, spooks & sickos in the churches or just too much work for this door-mat, thankless labor & toil while being harassed…I just try to worry about well-being & income flow, then oh-well. I always got the calm when I tried praying as kid then realized I control a lot of it as an adult and I don’t wish to take any more s— off the messed up people at some of the churches I’ve tried & still get stalked & verbally harassed by name by one church’s members. I’m middle age 300 lb female who is passive/avoidant…)

Some churches will even encourage their parishioners to ‘gang or cause stalk’…Google this, you need to know about this to be okay after a schizo diagnosis. This is how some of the closet-mentals deal with things & it is hellacous to have to tolerate this hostility in the workplace to self support when some people around schizos are too busy being crazy to work, some of the men will try to screw up a female coworker to the point of firing to get a relationship. Some of the SOBs rule the workplace & s— happens…If you have a diagnosis, you can suffer from ruined credibility especially right after the diagnosis when work performance declines and some employers will discriminate against you to get rid of new mental patients as it causes a lot of workplace disruption for a long time after nervous break…It isn’t that easy to sue sometimes for wrongful termination & usually umeployment is denied.

Please do the right thing. Think before you act and follow ethics enough to be no harm to others as Christian teaching dictate. Some churches do not practice this so just leave if you see adults bullying people…I’ve seen a disturbing trend toward passive aggressive recommendations by nuts to the unokay churches & victim gets stuck there toiling/tithing to support the social club or harassed in the community for leaving. If single female goes into these places, they get stalked sometimes by unwanted relationship or worse…

Lastly, I worked at a church & saw some who got church pastoral counseling left acting crazy or the church freak…

Calm comes in many ways, it doesn’t have to be thru religion if something is wrong with them. Please be strong, resist & ignore the nutty adults bullying someone…

I couldn’t quite understand what Stillperkin sad, but according to my doctor what I am experiencing is a reference problem. They say that I have in my head connected to is a reference of the 1:39 to some place else. Here’s how I look at it. 1:40 means 1 and 2/3 of a minute. That ratio is 1:2:3. Mathematically speaking, I am a failure if I can not get down something as easy as 1,2,3. That is my deep internal thought.
I feel like a total failure.

By finish watching that movie does not necessarily mean you would become a Christian. Baptism is for those who have come to know God through Bible study and want to serve God forever.
Neither it means you would be suffering by not finish watching that movie.

I was watching a movie on schizophrenia. Here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv0b1unxUpM.

I don’t know if this helps but I can understand how you feel. I hate the number 6. Three days before my psychotic break I went to the gas station and bought a random assortment of items. The total came up as $6.66. It freaked me out even though I was agnostic at the time and am a laymen Buddhist now.

When I lock the house up at night, I sometimes forget if I’ve done it before so I have to redo it. When I do that, since there are three doors I always do it twice to make sure I don’t do it 6 times. I also really like when the numbers on a clock add up, like 3:58 (3 + 5 = 8). I try to fight this feeling. I know it is just in my head. It is important to fight it. It is important to try to rationalize things.

I hope this isn’t offensive to anyone but maybe ask yourself stuff like this: In the bible God is always pretty straight forward. He gives obvious direction. He gave Moses a burning bush, he kept sending down angels to talk to people. If God wanted you to do something I think he would be more straight forward wouldn’t he?

welcome to the board.

If you’ve read weirder content, can you point me to it?

Isn’t it obvious?..

I am getting better day by day, but this sickness still drowns me. Not only is 1:39 99 seconds but 1:40 is also 1,2,3 as I described in my first post. I feel like I am 99/100. I don’t know what else to say.

Sound a bit OCD. I have to put things in straight lines, get even numbers, or get the same feeling in right and left side of the body. If I step on a line with my left foot I have step at the same way with my right foot on next line. That is OCD.