People say they wouldn't wish this disease on their worst enemy

Hell, I would. I would wish it on all my enemies, my best friends or the nice cashier at 7-11 who gives me free ice.
Hell, anyone but me.

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Sometimes I feel like if someone has to have it it’s ok that its me.

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I wouldn’t take it that far.

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When I am wishing ill on a person I wish for them to experience every bit of the suffering I have experienced in my life, which a lot people have, or worse.

There was a period when I was tortured with bad feelings horribly and I preferred not to exist. Such state lasted for about 6-8 months, and all attempts to erase me from existence failed. I wouldn’t wish a long lasting torture upon anyone.

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I realized at one point I did just so I could have company. I have changed that attitude since I realized how hopeless it’s been to end the illness in my case and the realization that the long term effects of the drugs and the illness are going to kill me ultimately. Why have company involving something with no hope?

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I would wish it entirely on my enemies - and laugh while they suffer like i do. Then they wont be so quick to take the piss, and call me “schizo” and assume im thick or violent. I would love myself a bit of retribution.

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I think Hitler deserves it.

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