People downplaying our symptoms

But it’s a start to recognizing similarities instead of differences…

This is SO needed-for everyone! It would certaintly help with stigma and fear. Maybe anyone with a MI coild feel a little more confident about certain issues-and be able to be themselves and not be afraid to seek help etc…
I see the point being made here-and it is very frustrating to say the least----but I also thought the same way you did Barbie…none of it is easy

1 Like

We were told back in the 90s not to throw away important personal papers like bank statements with the account # on it, credit card bills, or anything with your SSN on it…not because of the govt but for garbage picking thieves who would use info to get into peoples bank accounts or steal their identity… It’s a very real phenomenon so that wouldn’t be paranoid.
Even the banks tell you

“Ways that identity theft is perpetrated:
Dumpster Diving/Shoulder Surfing. Fraudsters rummage through trash looking for bills or other paper with personal information on it. Fraudsters also look over someone’s shoulder while on the computer or completing documents with personal information.”

I can relate. People try to downplay my symptoms from time to time including medical staff. Guess it is human nature though.

Can I ask a question without pissing anyone off? And I really do want to know so that I can help and perhaps respond accordingly.

I only have personal experience with my son and my contact on this forum to go by. I have been accused by my son of not caring about his sz or symptoms because I don’t ask. I have been told not to talk about his sz when I do ask. When I try to empathize I sometimes get ‘you can’t understand and I can’t make you understand.’ If I don’t try then I’m accused of not listening or talking or responding… I don’t know if anyone realized what a no-win situation that is.

So my question is: How are we supposed to respond when being talked to about things that we obviously can not understand?

3 Likes

That sounds more like a typical kid than anything specific to schizophrenia. They want their parents to show an interest but when the parent does they always push them away.

It seems like a no win situation but I think that your showing an interest is noticed and does help. Even if you “can’t understand” he’s going to realize that you are trying to understand, and that’s a good thing.

I think the best way is to just reassure them that you’re there to listen to anything they have to say and help any way you can.

Personally, I think a care giver can understand pretty well what it’s like, same with psychiatrists. I know that to many people it seems like a unique, unexplainable, experience but really much of it is similar to what others go through and can indeed be understood by someone who isn’t suffering.

2 Likes

Wow… that sounds like me in my anger phase… “No one can understand what’s going on in my head right now.” Then when my parents would back off … “Oh sure, just walk away, what do you care?”

There was a time when my parents were in that no win situation. I guess what helped was when my Mom would sort of give up and shake her head and say, “Well, I can’t force it out of you… I’m here to listen if you ever need to talk.” But it took a lot back then for me open up to my parents. I was afraid they would slap me in hospital.

I hate to say it… and I know that not everyone has the luxury of a younger sibling… but I would unload my entire brain on my kid sis. I would tell her everything. Most likely because I knew she had no power to do anything about it. Plus she and all her imaginary friends were very calm and understanding.

She couldn’t slap me in the hospital, she couldn’t force me to take my meds, she couldn’t kick me out or hold my money… But I do realize now how unfair that was. I now really lay it all out on my Therapist’s desk and not lay all down on my sis.

2 Likes

That’s another thing I was trying to look into yesterday. How anger works. A different set of neurotransmitters. Sometimes I feel in over my head :blush:

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=5805&cn=116

1 Like

It’s a very odd thing… My anger management class couldn’t even put a finger on exactly what would trigger anger… It has SO many motivators.

Some people it’s due to panic and fear response… for others it could be due to overstimulation… for some it’s even to depression and constant disappointment. It contains a lot of adrenaline and energy.

It blows me away how strong it is… as negative symptoms was eating away at my head to where I could hardly feel anything… I could still feel anger. So there were times when feeling angry actually felt good because it was Something… and something to me was better then nothing.

Now I hate it. I hate the taste of it… it’s acidic and overly alkaline at the same time… it’s like bitter orange peels and bad vinegar.

2 Likes

They down play cause they don’t want the torture you go through to sound like a big deal.

i hear you but the truth is they have nothing else to say, its all they have to compare it with, if you are talking about me or other members on here then i guess we can relate more.

tbh i like downplaying things, i try to downplay my illness as much as possible as it helps me remain stable, i mean what is the alternative? leave things the way they are or make them worse?

all my delusions i have ever had i try and downplay them now to myself, i make light of them and try to make a joke of it, i think that is down playing the seriousness of my illness at the time but now i don’t really care about then, that was a bad time for me so i may as well try and turn it around, i don’t want to get depressed every time i think of a bad thing that has happened to me.

3 Likes

That is what I do a lot of… I do personally try to up the humor of the situation… it makes it easier to talk to some family with out invoking a guilt response. I do get a little irritated that I can’t be so straight up with everyone… but I’ve just had to learn what family I can really talk to and what family not to scare away.

Plus… I’ve had so much negativity and depression in my life… I like trying to clear out the depression and negative cobwebs.

3 Likes

i’ve found that putting a positive spin on a negative experience helps people to realise that you are over it and that you have recovered from said situation, its the way you say it,

like if someone asks why you are unwell for some reason i try to think up something like, well it was usually cars that had a breakdown in our garage but at that point IT WAS ME :stuck_out_tongue: haha and just try and make a joke of it, its better than getting all defensive and unwell about it, its a better way to deal with it.

idk if that is a good example but it is things like that i think

4 Likes

I get that a lot. Both on my side and especially the in-laws. “Well everyone has ups and downs” (true, but I bet mine are a teensy bit more extreme). M-I-L has an AD prescribed by a GP, so she thinks she’s on the same level I am. “Oh, just do this incredibly difficult thing, it’s no big deal. I don’t see why you can’t just do this simple thing.” Then I’m the bad guy for not making it family events. I’m the lazy guy that doesn’t care for others feelings.

Nod and acknowledge that it sucks can do wonders sometimes. Also, don’t ask a lot. It seems invasive. If he starts to open up, listen and nod. If his mood isn’t serious at the time, make a small joke or two. And please don’t stare. Your son is in his 20s? PS? I used to hate (still do) when people/esp. my mom look too hard . Very hyper vigilant about such things. Sometimes the loved ones don’t even notice they’re doing it.

2 Likes

I do notice the family who I’m comfortable talking to doesn’t try to compare my situation to other’s situation in that manner. They don’t try to box it up with other families problems.

:clap: Can I get an Amen? Thank you in the back.

2 Likes

Excellent post ! It is so true, my symptoms get downplayed all of the time, especially by my brother and father - My negative symptoms quickly become a bout of laziness according to my father - he just does not get it.
It is very difficult for many neurotypicals to truly understand what we go through. It is very frustrating

2 Likes

I understand how you feel. My symptoms get downplayed as simple confusion or hearing problems by doctors. They try to tell me I have every thing BUT what I have been diagnosed with.

Sorry for laughing but “don’t try to compare it to your little earworm.” I laughed so hard at this, I choked on my coffee. Yea, people have down played my symptoms like they knew what it was like to hear screams non stop for hours.

I think maybe it’s their way of trying to relate to you.
I agree it’s annoying, I do, but I’ve learned not to take offense at it. After all, they probably mean well, and want to sound like they understand what you’re going through.

What I can’t stand, though, is the people who say “I know how it feels, I have a mental illness myself” as if having a mental illness makes them a fecking expert on the subject.

It doesn’t bother me as much when people compare to my symptoms. Sometimes makes me feel included actually. It’s when they say, “Everyone hears voices in their head. Get over yourself.” Not to my face, but without knowing I’m schizophrenic I’ve heard it said.