I talked to my mom on the phone for the first time in three or four years.
She’s off opioids, has been for a while now. She’s living with my aunt and uncle, doing really well, considering she’s disabled and homebound.
I told her about my psychosis, told her a lot. She’s was very supportive and understanding. She’s opposite of my father, and her situation makes her more empathetic to my own.
She didn’t act surprised at all. She even said she saw paranoia in me when we lived together in 2015-16, years before I had voices. Told me how everyone always had to be quiet because “people are listening.” It’s helping me piece together how truly ill I am, and how it’s been progressing for a longer time than I realized.
I’m still trying to find a way to house my dogs. I’m anxious about it. I don’t want to trust a stranger, or most people I know. I’m afraid I won’t be able to.
I have two, and they’re aggressive toward strangers and children. It won’t be easy to find housing, let alone having to hand them over, even if for a short time. I’m struggling hard with it. I could lose everything except my dogs.
Lady at a headshop said kratom was safe therapeutic and saves lives. I can’t do it lmfao but I would probably given I watched an episode of Hamilton’s pharmacopeia on it. If she’s in pain that’s a good alternative to opiates. People think it’s like an opiate but Just works on opioid receptors it’s totally different but still nullifies pain. Huh? Cross my heart I don’t have serious pain for a while cux naltrexone is my savior.
It’s possible we’ll stay in touch, I think we will.
I haven’t seen a Dr since I had an isolated psychotic episode ten years ago. I haven’t tried to find help for my first full blown psychotic episode which started almost two years ago, and hasn’t gone away. I assume they’ll want me in the hospital for this reason.