So i started planning a trip to see my sister who lives in Colorado, i am on the east coast. She has been having martial problems and is splitting up with her husband. She is my little sister and we are pretty close. I havent seen her in a while and i would like to give her some support and guidance, i know she has little to no friends there, she is in school and working and has 2 small children.
I def want to go help, but trip will definitely put a strain on my finances, and i havent been thru a crowded airport in years, and not since my few psychotic breaks. Although I feel better than i ever have in the past few years, but im still nervous of what the crowds, anxiety, and paranoia could do to me. My wife is willing to fly with me but has to return for the work week, so the return trip would be solo most likely, and costs even more should she fly me out.
I asked my pdoc this past wed what he thinks and he gave me a “you should absolutely not go”. This was a little disheartening. I feel i need to go help my little sis but at what expense? (Mental & monetary) now i feel that i would have no problem with the journey feeling like i have the past few weeks, but being sza, its easy for the moods to change quickly and the hallucinations and delusions with it. But again all have been mild at worst for the most part, and manageavle lately with my tools and operating procedures i abide by to catch myself and avoid my triggers, and i am feeling top of the world the last few weeks.
The last thing i would want is to burden my sister anymore with a “crazy” me on her hands as well as everything else shes got to handle. It seems the cons are outweighing the pros but i cant help but to feel that big brother in me wanting to do anything i can for her regardless the cost or harm to myself it may do, if it can help her. I would feel so guilty if i cant go because she and i were looking forward to it so much.
Just wanted to put all this out there and see if you guys think i should go or not go. My wife says she stands behind me if i choose to go so i feel like she thinks i can handle it, and she knows me better than i know myself for the most part. From the outside looking in, what is the general concensus of me taking the trip? Thanks in advance for your opinions…