I have a job but they’re forcing me to get another and move out. It’s hard enough doing anything. Everywhere I go I feel everyone can hear my thoughts and are out to get me. I feel everyone tries to startle me. I’m so scared to do anything it’s paralyzing. I have thoughts that constanstly berate me and tell me everything I say and do is wrong. I can’t communicate so I just stay quiet but I’m in a living hell. I can’t even explain or express to my parents what I’m going through. They just think I’m lazy and don’t care. I wish they could fee what it was like to live one day in this hell im in. I don’t know what to do.
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What’s your job?
What will the new one be?
I takes time. In the UK (Not sure where you are) it takes a lot to afford it - even though slightly cheaper where I am from.
It’s a difficult thing. I have lived alone now for two years and although the first 6 months were not good, I am used to it now and think its better not having others telling me what to do.
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if you have no place to go and you CAN’T work i would suggest seeking out hospitalization. i was recommended to day programs i could spend time at and housing programs too while at the hospital
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Right now I’m doing construction labor work. I feel like I’m going to snap if I take on anymore work.
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Where are you gonna go?
How ru coping today?
Have you tried writing them a letter?
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I think writing them a letter is a good idea.
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my sister and brother in law give me grief too…my sister calls me lazy and says im privileged not to have to work…she hasn’t a clue…sz is the toughest time a person can get…it is bloody awful…I would love not to have sz and have a job…but because os=f sz I cant
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Hah. Being able to work is a privilege
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you see all these people slaving away
not even enjoying life, and then they hate you for not going thru the same thing
it takes a certain amount of unhappiness to say that.
@Wolfe have you considered disability? You could get it and move into disabled apartments or go to a home with the amount of care you need. Some homes are pretty independent, others offer more support. It might be beneficial for you. It would give you a chance to work on getting your meds right and also to learn coping skills.
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Both my brother and father support me being on disability.
My brother helped me with the process.
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I had like more than 10 types of jobs in 7 years since I’ve been in London. At the moment I’m jobless again and I try daily to search and find a new one. My dad says I’m lazy and my stepmother supports him having the impression that I don’t want to work. I’ve got 2 months since I’ve increased my Clonazepam and I’m almost certain that I can have a full time agreement with any company that deals with retail. Back in my country I was a teacher but here I can be only a supply or a cover supervisor in schools. I’m not lazy and I need action to not be tempted to make peace with my condition. I have just one friend to whom I talk often but he’s back in Romania and I miss friendships more than ever. I think of suicide every day. My dad is sick and he says that I need to build myself a future because he cannot help me anymore and after all I have to pay the rent monthly. My mum is in Italy and neither she is very concerned about me.
My advice is to tell your parents all your thoughts and experiences you’re going through. If you’re lucky they will understand and support you. Peace!
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@wolfe
Do you have a place to move to?
@Novalis51
That sounds really hard. What kind of work are you looking for?
At the moment I’m staying with my folks. I’ve promised myself that I shall move out as soon as I would have enough money but that doesn’t happen as easy as it sounds. I’ve had jobs as a sales assistant and in education. I’m applying every day with my C.V from door to door and online. Hopefully I will find something soon. I’m afraid of the situation when I will have to tell my dad that I don’t have any money to pay the rent. He said something today about throwing me out of the house. If that happens I have to go back to Romania where the prospects are zero. I have conflicts with my dad because he thinks that I don’t want to work. All is well when I’m paying my bills but when I’m in trouble he says that I’m a loser and someone that he’s ashamed with…
I have a doctors appointment in a week and I’m going to ask to try a new med. right now I’m in seroquel and I really like how it helps me sleep but it doesn’t get rid of my delusions and paranoia. Hopefully he can just add something to the seroquel because I need it to sleep.
@Novalis51
That sounds awful. It must be so hard on you to look for work and to be misunderstood!
@Wolfe
That’s great you’re sleeping! I hope more meds bring you relief. Let us know how your appointment goes!
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