Parents and partner fighting

My parents and my partner seen to be fighting for my very heart. My partner told me to block them on my phone. Then my partner told me to call them and tell them why they being blocked. I didn’t know what to say. My mom said she no longer has a daughter. So my partner called them and went off. My mom then went on Facebook and started say stuff on that.

She said my partner is fat and lazy, that she could do a better job. That she wants to put me in the mental hospital. Then she blamed Kay for me being sick said I wasn’t on any meds didn’t see any doctors before I got with Kay.

Okay. I don’t know enough of your situation to offer a knowledgeable opinion, but anyone trying to make you cut off contact with your family raises a huge red flag for me.

If your family is hurting you and your partner is helping you work through it and supporting you as you set boundaries, that’s one thing. But telling you to cut off contact is another entirely.

From your brief description, your mom does sound like she’s meddling and does need some boundaries set.

2 Likes

What do you think about the situation?

1 Like

That sounds like a really bad situation. I never listen to anyone who tells me I need to cut off contact with someone. I need to make decisions on my own, and when someone tries to influence my thinking, I tend to be suspicious. Why are they fighting?

They are fighting over who caused my illness. My partner thinks it was my parents neglect and my dad’s friend sexually abusing me. My parents blame my partner. They both claim the other is mentally abusing me.

Hella drama, but as I read your summary I couldn’t help but wonder - who the hell do they think they are overriding your free-will and trying to get you put into an institute or hospital? That is solely YOUR choice.

Well, statistically, it was a combination of genetic predisposition and traumatic events. Sexual abuse was what started my psychosis. Then again, I know nothing about your relationship with your partner and how healthy it is. Why do your parents blame your partner?

But all of that aside, who cares how it started? Why is this such a big deal for them? Too often, our loved ones try to look for someone or something to blame, because it makes them feel better. But if you were genetically predisposed, it doesn’t matter what triggered you. You were probably going to develop it at some point anyways.

And blaming someone else won’t help you get better. If they all really love you, they should stop laying blame and focus on becoming active members of your support team. They shouldn’t be causing you even more stress by trying to turn you against your loved ones.

3 Likes

i always figured i just got the short end of the stick when it comes to genetics. my father has schizoaffective disorder and my brother has bipolar disorder with my mom having depression and anxiety. But my brother and father both deny their illnesses. My mom said i wasn’t on any meds, i wasn’t seening any “head doctors” stuff like that before i got into a relationship with my partner. I know they both want whats best for me. But they are making my life stressful. I haven’t talked to my mom since she wrote those messages on facebook.

ah I see. So your family is of the “If I don’t talk about it, it’s not a problem” variety. I can see why you find that stressful. I would avoid that crap too. I take it your partner helped motivate you to seek treatment?

It’s known as a triangle + goes on + on. Get out of it.

Yeah she did, back in 2010 when she first noticed my strange behavior got out of control in January but I didn’t really lose it until April. She also was the only person who came to see me when I was in the hospital. Rode buses just to see me a few hours a day. The day I got out she bought me a giant mountain dew.

That is an inspiring story. I’m glad you have that in your life, though I’m sorry it is causing so much drama at the moment. Ultimately, you just have to do what you decide is best for you, and everyone else can either deal with it or go bitch about it to themselves. I find that a good way to avoid drama is to just repeatedly shout, “I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE!” until they stop bitching at you.

1 Like

sorry you’re going through this @cbbrown I miss you and hope things get better for you. I love you.