Im worried ill lose it and have to be hospitalized and something happens to them or i can’t meet their needs. I just want them to be ok.
Are you talking about your bun buns?
Then be okay for them. One day at a time. No point flipping out about possible futures before they happen.
It might be a good idea to see if you can find someone you trust to look after them - a friend, a good petsitter, if you go on a trip or anything like that. It’ll keep you from stressing over this.