I get the feeling that people can’t act, or it’s against social rules or something, “real” around schizophrenics. It’s like everyone is hiding reality. What do you guys think about this? I just feel out of the loop with realness or it’s a secret kept from us.
I was also just wanting some confirmation that the people driving down my street don’t know I exist. I swear the people rev their engines cause of me. It happens every now and then and really throws me in a loop. It makes me angry cause I should be allowed to deal with what’s going on with me myself and not some guy with loud exhaust deciding he doesn’t like my thoughts.
Yeah, I kind of know what you mean. Maybe people don’t act real because they’re hiding what they really think of us-and they don’t think too highly. I get this at work with my bosses, I think we’re getting along great with each other and everything’s going great and then I walk away and hear them talking in real tones and being mean which they aren’t most of the time to me.
I don’t want to put anyone down but maybe they’re not being real with us because we’re not being real with them. Just a thought. I notice that people are more genuine with each other than I am. It doesn’t mean they always like each other but they have some kind of understanding between them I don’t have. I don’t think people think very highly of me but they’ll humor me and act like they like me or let me think I’m normal or that I’m impressing them when I’m actually making a bad impression on them. It’s too much to think about.
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When you’re walking down the street people just glance at you and then look somewhere else. Some idiots might stare or try to intimidate you but most of the time all people see when you walk down the street is some guy who’s on his way to somewhere.
The engine thing is called ideas of reference where we attach meaning to something going on unrelated to us. People just sometimes gun their engines for no reason.
I will say from my own experience that life is crazy and sometimes we get in weird patterns with people and something about us draws coughs, or laughter or engines revving. Most of the time that is not true and is not reality but sometimes it is possible to draw certain reactions from people though most people are going to read this and disagree. Like I said, 85%-90% of the time noises around us are innocent and have nothing to do with us but there’s that 5-10% of people who are aware of some weird sh*t and mess with us.
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Yeah I’ve been hearing the odd voice and been experiencing some ideas of reference since I started cogentin. I feel more loopy. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I just always kinda felt like there’s this world out there that we aren’t a part of. Idk how crazy or perfectly fine it is-that world. I went to day treatment today for the first time in a couple weeks. I enjoy hanging out with those guys- we’re pretty entertaining. Thanks
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I have these same symptoms and trying to prove them got me nowhere. I even regressed and became so stressed out I was having physical symptoms and complete exhaustion. I was constantly frustrated and tormented and angry and was compounding my bad feelings. Doubling my Abilify has helped me. Now all I want to prove to myself and for myself is that I am regaining my discipline and willpower and belief in the good in society and myself.
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