How do you account for the fact that your hallucinations are of your own making? How to think about the voices’ contents when it is reflectively so distant from who you are and from ideas you would endorse? Although I am not hallucinating now, I am looking for a conception of the voices and what they say that goes beyond thinking of it as mere noise, and steers far from conceiving them as other subjects. How to own them?
They’re that side of yourself you will never meet outside paranoia
They’re your otherness
This is just me…
Looking back… a lot of my hallucinations and meanest voices seem to spring out of some of my deepest fears… and parts of myself I was afraid of becoming.
The more I tried to hold the fear down… the more it came up.
It’s not all gone… but I’m trying to let it simply wash away.