Overexcitability

not to confuse this with adhd or hyperexcitability.
but do any of you have a feeling of heightened senses, heightened smell, sight, hearing,feeling etc.
this is something that i have dealt with for as long as i can remember

Sometimes I get a body high like I’m on acid. I feel slightly inflated and can feel my whole self at the same time. It’s not as intense as actually tripping but it still feels pretty good. I once hypothesized that if I was sober for long enough itd eventually feel like a high. Had the feeling for a couple days then I had a shite crash.

The word I would use is semi manic for my heightened states. Can’t really relate beyond that.

yeah I would describe it as a slight manic state. but i do also seem to understand concepts and ideas much more efficiently when im like that its really interesting.

i feel that im finally starting to work with my illness instead of fighting against it 24/7

i kind of have a theory behind my lack of motivation/avolition. That it revolves around my brain not being mentally stimulated/challenged enough over the past several years.

My business does not take a lot of thinking, its pretty simple. involves various mundane tasks.

Ever since I started learning these musical instruments I do feel better, a sense of accomplishment etc… but the symptoms come and go.

who knows.

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My illness is unworkable it would rather me become a madman and kill myself. Or at least that’s how it was for the first 2 years.

Today I have been trying to see it as more a part of myself and I realized how much control I had over the cognitive stuff that happens when I’m alone. Eventually I just shut it off. It kind of comes back every now and again. Thoughts that my mind credits to other people. I just ignore it just like the voices and it goes into remission.

I will admit though there have been some entertaining moments. It hasn’t been all that bad.

I bet in 5 years you’ll be on top of it. Good theory on the avolition. I’ve noticed that I really don’t want to do anything until I start to do things then it gets easier. Creates a delay before I get started. I’ve always been quick to get things done after that. Yeah now that I think about it that’s how it’s always been. Hmm guess that means I’m getting back to normal.

You probably could see a doc about the motivation issues or therapy or something.

At least it’s not really holding you back.

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hmmm only when pregnant lol…slightest whiff of anything bad and it’s head down the toilet time. ordinarily i get mass cleaning sessions going on when i’m doing ok. i’ll do something, sit down then have to get up and do something else and so on and so on till i’ve accomplished all i feel i’m capable of for that day. even if my hands are giving me grief i’ll carry on until i’ve exhausted myself. sometimes i’ll stay up all night doing it just so the place is clean because with two teenagers it can look like a bombsite most of the time and i hate that. i also like the place to smell nice so i have plug ins every where except my room as the overpowering ones make me cough. cat litter trays do not make for sweet smelling housemates so i’m very conscious of them, even when i have avolition. if there’s one thing bar everything else i do it’s bag up the dog and cat poo from the garden and litter trays as often as i can and take it out to the bin. i don’t get these cleanfreak days often as most of the time my kids mess overwhelms me and i baby them to a certain extent because neither of them are too well and do it all myself. my daughter has just started pitching in to help my son has done nothing yet but i’m working on it lol. but some days i get this heightened shame of the state of the place and clean it all in 24 or 48 hours. i guess it’s semi manic.

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yes… yes… and yes.

It’s a bit hard to explain… and it does come in waves. It has different flavors for different things happening… If I’m getting an anxiety amp… hearing and sight feel like they are getting sharper angle are share… and things taste metallic… very acidic. Light touches feel heavy… it’s all hypersensitive.

But there are times where I just feel happy and expanded and I just feel like I can hear more clearly… see better… I feel I have a great emotional connection to those around me. I have more care and love in me to give to others.

Things taste more clear… more fragrant. I don’t know if it’s a sign of manic… or if it’s just a sign that I’m doing well.

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Food taste better…
Well I actually haven’t eaten in a while but this air, this air tastes better.

Yeah you digging this air man…

Sealab anyone?

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