Hi everyone, I got the Invega shot last Thursday. That, in conjunction with taking a Resveratrol at night seems to be helping me gain insight into the origins of my delusions of grandeur. I won’t go into the details of the content of my delusions other than to say that I actually believed that I was all kinds of famous people and that the famous people in real life were impostors who had “stolen” my achievements. So delusions of persecution as well, I guess. Anyway, I take full responsibility for holding these irrational beliefs and behaving erratically (when I’m not medicated), but I think part of it is overcompensating for the fact that I was not valued or paid attention to by my parents. Thoughts? I am 47 years old and I know intellectually that I am responsible for my own life and blaming my parents at this late stage in life does no good, but I did want to share this piece of insight.
It helped me a lot to realise that the content of my delusions was shaped by past experiences, mostly childhood. However, it still remains uncertain why did those experiences impact me so catstrophically. Was it purely biological condition? Something more? Did you think of this yourself?
Yes, I often wonder why my illness affected me so badly. Plenty of people have bad childhoods and still are not crippled by mental disease. In my case, I guess it was just the luck of the draw. Studies show that people are able to overcome anything so long as they have at least one person who believes in and supports them. That one person can be oneself, too I suppose. As for biological abnormalities, I know it’s convention nowadays for the psychiatric industry to premise mental illness almost exclusively on chemical imbalances and such. But I believe both nature and nurture interact to make us what we are. There’s no doubt in my mind though that my shot of Invega is really helping me not to get lost or act on my delusions.
thats good im glad to hear its working for you i think your onto something when realizing the origins of your illness, i do also think its plausable that my illness comes from me punishing myself for bad choices i made in the past. Even though the voices are mean to me i dont care, i wont believe they are real i think it more probable its just something in my broken mind…
Thats so great that you’re starting to recover. It takes time to heal so dont beat yourself up about the past. Just take it easy and keep focused on recovery and all the good things that can come with getting better. My mom was dealing with those kinds of delusions, about famous people she thought she was in the band Blondie and she would think all these magazine people were us etc. but she has been well now for about 6 years its like she finally got her life back. I prayed to God that someone would step in or something would change. It seems that God’s answer was that she needed treatment. There’s no shame in treatment. I’ve been getting better lately too.
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