I think I’m only mildly psychotic; Just you know comptemplating sleeping with a cross to keep the demons away. Sure the med increase took away their voice and keeps them from standing at the foot of my bed, but I am still 99.9% they are out there.
Oh I’ve been there, sleeping with the rosary, with the Bible, crossing myself w holy water, repeating certain prayers and psalms over and over…if you feel the need to do that you aren’t well my friend
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Needing to sleep with a cross isn’t a sign that you are totally well. It can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is a fairly harmless quirk, and it might make you feel better for sleeping. On the other hand, feeding your delusion like that might make it stronger.
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I’ve been dx’ed sza, and I have hallucinated very little. I have been badly, crazily delusional before. I think there is a specific diagnosis for that set of symptoms. The biggest problem is that my delusions have made me violent before. One time I thought people were trying to get me to commit suicide, so I took off to Texas. Then I came back, but I bought a handgun. It was a .22 auto. I wasn’t going to walk into a crowd and start shooting, but if somebody had walked up behind me on a dark night I just might have turned around and shot them. My reasoning was that when they saw I wasn’t going to commit suicide they would send somebody after me.
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I am sorry you feel like demons are bothering you. I don’t, personally, believe in demons but I have been very psychotic and, when I was, I believed all kinds of crazy things. My delusion is very real to me too. 99.9%, just like you said. I hope you feel better soon. I hope it eases up.
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The worst is I am battling a pot addiction which hopefully tonight will be my last night. The pot makes me have break through voices and really bad paranoia thinking friends and family are possessed. Still also concerned they will possess me as well.
Someone smoked my incense and drank the holy water brought back from the holy land.
What were ya thinking dudes?