Schizophrenia.com

One of my brightest moments


#1

When I was first diagnosed, I was not responding to any medications. I was severely ill, paranoid, depressed, lost, and sometimes suicidal.

My friend gave me an iPod with some music she had downloaded. On it were several albums of Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. I instantly became a fan of the music.

I would walk aimlessly through the woods for nearly 24 hours. With nothing but my iPod, listening to Fleetwood Mac and Stevie.

This was the only thing that calmed me. It showed me that there was beauty in the world. The music, being surrounded by nature…it was what kept me going when I had nothing else.

And so I’ve been listening to that music ever since. And it still cheers me up when I’m going through rough times.

A few years ago, my dream came true and I got to see Fleetwood Mac and Stevie in person. It was one of the brightest moments of my life. It brought back memories of how hard things were, how far I’ve come, and how much further I will go.

I will never forget that day. And I’m thankful to have that memory with me always through this photo.

What were some of your brightest moments?

Blessings,

Anthony


#2

Your post elucidates fond memories for me as well. I was 16, and had been diagnosed 4 years prior. I was walking to and from my minimum wage job as a cashier at a supermarket. My friend gave me a Jimi Hendrix tape to listen to. So for the 2 miles I had to walk, I blasted Jimi into my ears. Quieted the voices and gave me some sanity. Favorite song? Either Angel or Are You Experienced?


#3

Some of the best moments:

When I was proposed to, in a very childish manner, he didn’t even have a ring to do it. I couldn’t say no even if I intended to tell him to ask me like a man. I just found yself saying yes, and I am happy I did.

When I first left the country to go to France.

When my best friend came to visit me in France and went to the same courses as I did at the Uni of France.

When I first swam in the Mediteraneean sea and didn’t stop until I was exhausted.

Some mornings in France when I woke up and found myself alone, away from all the horrid past in my home country, happy.

Many of the days during my marriage.

Many days when I was waking up in the morning to go to work.

These days, when an employer told me, during an interview, that I’m on his list for the most interesting persons he would employ. (I’ll be getting the final answer within ten days).

One day when I spent a few hours just sitting in silence with my exgirlfriend and friend since, just watching one another with no intention to break the silence.

The day when my son stood up for the first time.

One day when I found myself surrounded by friends and family, hiking on a mountain.

Every day I make progress in learning PHP and Norwegian.

Every day when I don’t feel threatened by psychosis.


#4

Nice story Anthony. I can’t think of one moment that stands out. I was blessed with many bright moments in my recovery.
Maybe winning “Worker of The Month” at my job unloading trucks at Sears and having my picture and name posted above the time clock so my fellow employees would see it every time they punched in and out. Or the time I gave a 15 minute talk in front of a 100 fellow addicts at a CA meeting and got a nice round of applause. Or when I was in the hospital for 8 months and they had this thing where each staff member would pick his/her favorite patient and take them out to dinner for one night and a nurse picked me out of a hundred other patients.


#5

hmm, bright moments “after” I got sick…probably when after toying with a revolver for a few hours I decided God had a plan for me and even though I didn’t know what that plan was. I stayed alive. It took about a year longer but I found hope and wanted to live again without trying to.


#6

Before I was diagnosed, I was homeless for a full year. I was eating garbage, and I refused to stay in a shelter no matter what the weather was. Eventually I ran in to my Grandmother accidentally. So I ended up getting off the street. And when I started over again. I decided I didn’t want to hear any music. I didn’t even want to play my gut air because it had to be plugged into an amplifier. So I stopped listening to music all together for quite a while.

Eventually I picked up classical music and I started from there eventually getting back into hard rock years later. I again play my guitar every day.

I still feel that music ruins any intention that I have not that what would intentionally do is good for me anyway…

I guess it’s a compromise!


#7

That must have been a shining moment for you Anthony- A bright moment for me was on my wedding day - especially the reception. My immediate and extended family members were there, my friends were there - it was a beautiful moment in time. Lots of good music. I even had the DJ play a couple of Cult songs (my favorite group) - it was a spectacular time!
I cannot say my marriage was spectacular, but the wedding was special. Now that I am divorced, I look back at that day with fond and heart warming memories


#8

My brightest moment: One year for Halloween I opened a glowstick and poured it over me. I only glowed for a moment, but I can say that was my brightest moment.


#9

@radmedtech Very cool. I’m glad you got to finally see the group that got you through. Just getting through a crowded concert is no easy task. Congratulations. I hear they put on a very top rate show.

I’ve been trying to think of my past shining moment… there have been a few from my deep past… Some are very emotional and some were just exciting.

Here and now… This has been one of the most amazing years of my life.

I have a feeling my shining moment was … Saturday Evening. It was a very quiet thing.

I treated myself and decided to borrow the family boat and do some night fishing with my sis for the super moon. We’ve both been on a bit of a hectic schedule… so the chance to just hang out and talk felt really good.

We were talking about how packed this summer has been and how much further I’ve come and how much faster I’ve recovered from any glitch days. It was the first time in a almost two weeks that we’ve had a chance to just catch up with each other.

My sisters graduation, my first airplane ride ever, my favorite cousin’s wedding, my Dad’s birthday and right after that my sister’s 18th birthday… plus I was able to keep up with my on-line class and make it through the 4th without completely breaking down… There was some hard days in all that mix as well. Days I was not doing well, days I’ve fought off my feeling of kidnappers following me, my fighting off some of my sneak brained thinking. (my younger brother’s battle, both my sis and I having longer days)

Having all that realization laid out for me… That was a shining… quiet moment for me… I was feeling very emotional about all this.

Then my sis got bored with fishing and decided to jump in the water and swim around the boat. Like she always does… so I didn’t catch a thing. Somethings are vastly different in my life… and some things never change.


#10

That was so great Anthony! Fleetwood Mac was, and is, one of my favorite groups. Music and nature-great healers!


#11

LOL! That was good!


#12

I rode in a rodeo in an event called team pinning where 2 people on horses separate 3 cows and drive them into the pen. We didn’t get a single cow and I was on a pony (so it was slightly more dangerous), but I had so much fun in the rain in the mud at night. It was a cold night, but I didn’t feel it I was in a sleeveless shirt. I must’ve been 13 years old.

In junior high I won prizes for having the best costume 2 years running.

In adulthood, I guess seeing Elvis Costello at Jazz Fest. Befriending this old lady in the hospital, it was when I was turning back on.

I went back to class while the ice was still on the trees after a snow storm.