Have you ever dreamt about your funeral? Like committing suicide so you’d get the attention of a funeral. I confess thinking that as a child. Well, I’ve come to the conclusion, that, realistically, not too many people would bother to come to any funeral I might have had. So, another delusion bites the dust.
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@chordy I’m really sorry you think that. Maybe you could start making friends at a NAMI group or in a hobby you like. That must feel awfully lonely. 
I’ve had the same thoughts about finally getting attention at a funeral, but now I think my fate would be there same as you describe. There would be like 3 people there so what’s the point?
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