Too often, punishing seems like an hysterical reaction or at least being judgmental. Discussing a situation calmly would be preferable and more healing to the wrong doer.
In behavioral therapy, it is widely understood that punishment does not actually lead to a reduction in the negative behavior. It only leads to a reduction in the behavior occuring in front of someone. We choose to positively reinforce positive behaviors, and ignore negative behaviors. All evidence shows that this is the best way to eliminate problematic behaviors.
Agreed. Now, how do we convince the masses?