Old prophet delusion

The Bible mentions “an authentic David-Branch”, and being schizophrenic, and my name being David Branch, I half-think I’m a prophet. Of course theres tons of logic that would not support my ‘delusion’. Other things that make half of me believe it is that my therapist says I’m spiritually advanced. I’m 18.

Christians interpret this passage as referring to Jesus. And I would say I might agree with them.

Please don’t write me off. I’ve had other big “delusions”, like the whole CIA is following me thing, and those were sorted out. But this one is for some reason really weird in my mind, specifically because the first time I saw this verse it was when I randomly flipped open the Bible. (That got me started on flipping open the dictionary, where I could ask questions and get eerily reasonable answers from ‘God’)

Anyways, what does one do when half of one’s mind is convinced of a delusion and the other half thinks its ridiculous?

One teaching of David was that he found a reason to sing for his daughter.

I can live with a little ambivalence. I don’t have to know everything . . .


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Well all you can do is read up on it and the prophet delusion is pretty common.

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Such kind of things happened to me as well, finding clues to support my delusion everywhere. It is really amazing how much perception can be frontloaded by an interpretation, delusional or not. So flipping through the dictionary you see this word and the delusional context you are occupied with colours the word in such a way that its perceived meaning will have a relation to your delusion. And as such it will support your delusion. It is a case of finding what you are looking for - which happens all the time in ‘normal’ perception as well, it is just a different perspective you normally start from - end thus end up with. It is just that normally what we look for and find is conceptions of the world that belong to a stable and shared worldview, rather than a delusional one.

Sometimes you might even catch yourself in the act of interpreting. You might see a word that is somehow striking to you, but you’re not quite sure why yet, and you will actively look for an interpretation of it that will fit into the delusion, that is to say, if you don’t perceive the relevant meaning instantly you will work to establish it. This is what made me notice this role of interpretation in delusion. I caught myself in the act of not so much finding clues to my delusion that were ‘out there’, but basically constructing them. And this happens all the time, yet more swiftly.

This awareness of interpretation was kind of helpful when I was, like you, wavering between two positions. For the meaning you find in the world is not entirely beyond your control, first, it is not just ‘out there’ as a given, and second, you have a say in how you interpret things. That is to say, you may choose to see this word in the dictionary in another way. If you want to stay away from the delusion, you might actively try this everytime you’re struck by ‘evidence’ that seems to support it. You can try to see it in a way that supports your non-delusional thinking.

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Refrain from reading the text that drives it.
Set a reminder for yourself reminding you that the rational half of your mind thinks it’s ridiculous.
I’ve used post-it notes :smiley:

As @Jayster pointed out, “live with a little ambivalence.” The pros have been saying for years that the ability to live with ambiguity and conflict is the highest state one can reach in life. It’s definitely what the Buddhists and Sufis are seeking in their Vipassana meditation practices.

There are plenty of books – and workbooks – to help one acquire this capacity. I’ll list a few here:

Begley, S.: Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain: How Science Reveals our Extraordinary Potential to Transform Ourselves, New York: Ballantine Books, 2007.

Block, S.; Block, C.: Come to Your Senses: Demystifying the Mind-Body Connection, New York: Atria Books / Beyond Words (Simon & Schuster), 2005, 2007.

Brach, T.: Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha, New York: Random House / Bantam, 2004.

Chapman, A.; Gratz, K.; Tull, M.: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety: Breaking Free from Worry, Panic, PTSD & Other Anxiety Symptoms, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2011.

Chodron, P,: The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, Boston: Shambhala, 2001.

Deikman, A.: Personal Freedom: On Finding Your Way to the Real World, New York: Bantam, 1976.

Follette, V.; Pistorello, J.: Finding Life Beyond Trauma: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to Heal from Post-Traumatic Stress and Trauma-Related Problems, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2007.

Forsyth, J.; Eifert, G.: The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2008.

Goleman, D.: The Meditative Mind: The Varieties of Meditative Experience, New York: Putnam & Sons, 1988.

Hart, W.: The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation as Taught by S. N. Goenka, San Francisco: Harper-Collins, 1987.

Hayes, S.; Smith, S.: Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life: The New Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2005.

Kabat-Zinn, J.: Coming to Our Senses, Healing Ourselves and the World Through Mindfulness, New York: Hyperion, 2005.

Krishnamurti, J.; Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 1st Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1973.

Krishnamurti, J.: Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 2nd Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1976.

Krishnamurti, J.: Rajagopal, D.: Commentaries on Life, 3rd Series, Wheaton IL: Theosophical Publishing, (1956) 1967.

Levine, S.: A Gradual Awakening, New York: Anchor Books / Doubleday, 1979, 1989.

Marra, T.: Depressed & Anxious: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Depression & Anxiety, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2004.

McKay, M.; Wood, J.; Brantley, J.: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2007.

Orsillo, S.; Roemer, L.: The Mindful Way Through Anxiety: Break Free from Chronic Worry and Reclaim Your Life, New York: Guilford Press, 2011.

Raja, S.: Overcoming Trauma and PTSD: A Workbook Integrating Skills from ACT, DBT and CBT, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2012.

Siegel, D.: Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, New York: Bantam, 2010.

Siegel, R.: The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems, New York: The Guildford Press, 2010.

Somov, P.: present perfect: a mindfulness approach to letting go of perfectionism & the need for control, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2010.

Somov, P.: the lotus effect: shedding suffering and rediscovering your essential self, Oakland: New Harbinger, 2010.

Stahl, B.; Goldstein, E.: A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, Oakland CA: New Harbinger, 2010.

Tart, C.: Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential, New York: New Science Library, 1987.

Tart, C.: Living the Mindful Life: a handbook for living in the present moment, Boston: Shambala, 1994.

Trungpa, C.: The Myth of Freedom and the Way of Meditation, Boston: Shambala, 1976, 2001.

Van Dijk, S.: Calming the Emotional Storm, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2012.

Van Dijk, S.: DBT Made Simple: A Step-by-Step Guide to Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger, 2013.

Watts, A.: The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for the Age of Anxiety, New York: Random House, 1951.

Williams, M.; Penman, D.: Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, New York: Rodale, 2011.

Williams, M.; Teasdale, J.; Segal, Z.; Kabat-Zinn, J.: The Mindful Way through Depression, New York: Guilford Press, 2007.

I’ve thought I was Jesus for over 3 years…I still believe it on and off but it doesn’t control my life anymore. Wooo that’s a relief. Now I live in the present and don’t stride for anything “prophet-like” usually. If anything that’s a step towards becoming a prophet…Not worrying about it. I’m 25. But don’t believe I’m a prophet, but I do believe “God has a plan”.

Well with all the Isis ■■■■ on TV I don’t believe there’s anything I can do to change the world. But I definitely believe I have a destiny, whether that be to do this or do that. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. You’re born, you pay taxes, then you die. Then maybe go to heaven or am re-incarnated and do it all over again. The end. I’m slightly cynical and crude though.

I feel when you settle down with a wife and kids you stop worrying about being a prophet and focus on being a father/mother. Not that I’m there yet, but some day.