I really don’t want to alarm anyone, and I know how this may sound but I think it is all in my head, since I have had similar health delusions about various diseases and disorders that all have turned out to be false alarms.
My voices are trying to get me to believe that I’m having a heart attack, when I have no symptoms of one. The only thing I’m feeling is a tiniest of pinch in my heart, like it’s increasing heart rate, but I think it’s my body trying to react to the idea of having a heart attack. I looked online on various medical sites for symptoms of a heart attack in women and I literately have none. It almost feels more like an anxiety attack than a heart attack. But I’m not anxious about anything. Not really.
My voices have tried to convince me of other aliments in the past. During my biggest relapse I believed I had gotten crabs because there was a rumor they found it in the woman’s bathroom (but never confirmed, just the closing of the main bathroom as they cleaned it). It turns out I didn’t have it. The one point I had a like a pimple like thing on my breast, which turned out to just be a pimple…I get them from time to time I think from sweating in that area. They aren’t hard and or frequent, nothing to concern about. So is this just another case of my voices trying to get the better of me with the heart attack thing?
The more I think about it, the more I think it is the voices. Even the irregular heart beating has stopped…gone away. But I still feel anxious. I think I need to go find something to distract myself with. My question now mainly seems to be does anyone else have a problem with their voices/delusions trying to get them to think they have additional illnesses when they don’t?
Sohare1981, I am sorry you are battling with your voices. I think you might need a switch of meds. Seroquel is a weak med for voices and delusions.
Your description of increased heart beat reminded me of my tactile hallucinations happened years ago. It was a spot somewhere on my right side of chest thumping like a heart, the voice told me because I had too mach compassion for other people so the voices decided to punish me for that by installing a second heart inside my body. I felt crazy because this second heart beating all the time like a bunny jumping. Tactile hallucinations were horrible !
Thank you @green6, I never heard of tactile hallucinations before but it sounds some similar to what I’m going through. I think because I’ve been ignoring the negative voices they’re trying to get me all worked up and panicked about something, anything they can think of. And a plausible thing to taunt me with is other health issues, since I know I’m a healthy person, physically or mentally and believe anything is possible.
I think they’re also reach to these kind of attacks because they have been trying to get me to harm myself which I’m simply refusing to do. They are in my mind and cannot control my body. But things I can’t see with my own eyes and things I don’t have much control over can be used against me by these voices. Their goal to get me into more trouble than I need to be in, and cause more drama in my life than I need or care to put up. They aren’t that strong though, I can ignore them most days, it’s just upsetting the past couple days because of the death of Robin Williams. I’m not sure why his death has affected me so much, I didn’t know him personally…maybe because I too suffer from severe depression and to see someone so successful in life lose his life to the negative thoughts in your head it kind of says no one is safe.
So now the voices realize I have a weakness and is using it against me to get me to overreact, have a panic attack, or do something to myself. Okay i know I’m sounding as if I believe these voices are real people, I know they’re not real like you and I are real. I don’t think they can actually have a motive or set goals…but that is what it feels like. It is the best way I can describe it…take something unrelatable and related it to something. It’s how I process things in my head.
As for an update on how I’m doing, the strange feelings inside of me have passed. I feel back to my normal self. I sat back and watched a stupid show on Netflix but took my mind off of me and dwelling on the voice.
I sometimes do. I might pay a little more attention to my heart health if I were you. More women are getting heart attacks these days.That pinching in your chest might be cholesterol collecting on your arteries. I don’t want to scare you. I am a male, but I also get a pinching in my chest, and I think it might be heart congestion developing. A lot of people start to think something is wrong with their bodies as they get older. I would just do basic health maintenance and not worry about it.
Thanks for your concern, but I think it was a version of tactile hallucinations. My voices like it when I’m all tensed up and nervous and I’ve been rather relaxed the past couple of days. Once I distracted my thoughts the feeling went away and I was fine. I haven’t had any problems sense. I took it a bit easy today, just to be safe…I didn’t have any physical ailments or anything.
@sohare1981 I can definitely understand what you are going through. I haven’t had voices in awhile but my discursive thoughts seem to pounce on me when I am stressed and in the right spot. It’s like they attack you where you are weakest.
What you are doing is right. Your voices will not help you. They are simply a maladaptive mental glitch. However, if you get too stressed out about it, to give yourself peace of mind there is nothing wrong with getting yourself checked out by a general practitioner. It is okay to be weak sometimes. Trust me. I’m weak like 24 hours a day and I sleep 12 of those hours. Just do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Well they tell me stuff that are true, but they’re not very helpful…
@futomimi I’ve never had a good experience with doctors. I’m fat never really have them tell me anything useful other than: You’re overweight…duh…I can tell that on my own I don’t need to force myself down to the office and pay someone to tell me that. So I’ve kind of shunned away from going to the practitioner doctor’s unless it was absolutely necessary. They tend to just bring me down…but I know I should go more than I do.
@sohare1981 I understand. Doctors are definitely a difficult species. I’ve met a couple good ones and a bunch that leaned towards overly certain pig headedness. Giving healers of body that they are, some of them still can be clods at times. I try to see all sides of people and situations. Yet I must admit after being in the psych ward of a hospital, going into one gives me the creeps.
I have two types of discursive thoughts. I have the ones that aren’t a big deal like having to check the door a bunch of times and hating the number 6. That actually sounds more like OCD but it connects in with my paranoid delusions. Then there are the more disturbing ones. I try to give in to none of them. But on certain days when I am overly stressed out I find it is easier to give in to the little ones.
I was just thinking that maybe you were having a particularly bad day and might be being too brave lol. Sometimes I feel guilty when I give in to my little demons. I don’t think I should though. I was wondering if you were the same.
Yes, the night I started this I was falling pray to the demons in my head. I knew nothing was physically wrong with me, after all I had checked online for symptoms of the problem they were trying to convenience me I had, but matched none of them. As for the doctors, I don’t know if I’m giving into the demons or not, but 99% of the time I have nothing physically wrong with me so I don’t see why I need to go to the doctor’s.
Once in a while I get a cold that wont go away and I go into acute care for prescription antibiotics The doctor I used to go to as a teenager (when I was under my parents insurance and had to go) she would tell me I was overweight, which I was. She’d also look at my teeth, which I know are horrid, now due to lack of dental insurance and an extreme fear of the dentist, but weren’t as bad when I was younger, and would tell me I had bad teeth. For starters she was general practitioner, not a dentist. Why was she looking at my teeth to begin with? I may never know.
Now every time I go to a doctor (other than my psych doc) I’m afraid they’re going to look at my teeth and tell me something negative which I’ve already told myself a dozen times and don’t need actual conformation on…and I don’t need them telling me I’m fat, I know that. I can look at myself and tell myself that. I know the complications of being obese, but it’s hard to get motivated to lose the weight after I’ve dealt with it for so long. There’s other psychological reasons I wont delve into here. So I avoid the doctor’s unless I truly have something wrong with me.
Plus I know I’m a hypochondriac, and I don’t have the money to waste to run to the doctor every time I feel just a tiny bit funny.
I can definitely relate. I have to go to the cardiologist for the first time next week and I know the first thing he is going to mention is that I am overweight. I looked my new cardiologist up online and he doesn’t have a good track record with bedside manner.
My general practitioner, even though I like him usually, tells me every time to cut out the sugar and bread. I have cut out almost all sugar and bread but every time he tells me the same thing like it is something new. I want to scream at him I know this. You have told me this seven billion times before. You just feel like you are doing the best you can coping with everything and the doctors keep telling you ‘Well you aren’t doing enough’ and acting like you want to be this way. It is bothersome.
I tell myself ‘Well at least it is a good test of your mindfulness.’ lol