That I’m tired of being single. I know I’ve posted about this on here before, but this time I’m going to take the plunge. It’s just that for close to the the past 6 1/2 years I’ve had rather inappropriate feelings for at least 4 women that I’m supposed to keep a professional distance from. A light had to go off in my brain sooner or later. And, no more trying to find someone online, I’m going to start approaching them in the community.As long as I don’t have to do it too much before I get a “yes”. I need to find someone in an appropriate setting and circumstance before I cross the line and do something really inappropriate.
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I mean, you could always masterb8 …
This isn’t just sexual, @Mr.Dre. I really think I could use a little extra emotional support as well. As sensitive and introverted as I am, I think there’s still times when I’m spending just a little too much time alone.
So what exactly inappropriate thing would you do if you didnt get this emotional support ?
I would cross professional lines and be tempted to date someone I’m not allowed to. The one I like now is a staff member where I’m a client/employee. So of course, she’s off limits. I think there’s at least some sexual tension between us, but I think I’m feeling it more than she is. Besides, I remember overhearing her mention her boyfriend a while back.
Your screenname is pretty ambiguous. If you’re a woman this is the hottest post ever.
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You should date someone because you want to date THAT PERSON, not because you don’t want to be alone.
If you’re lonely, maybe you should work on making friends and establishing healthy relationships first.
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I totally agree with you, @Pikasaur. But, this isn’t really about complete social isolation, either, because that’s not the case. I already have a deep support network of professionals, family and even friends. Even if I was spending just a little more time with them, this problem very well could perpetuate even more. I mean, just because a person isn’t “socially” lonely, doesn’t mean they can’t and won’t feel sexually and even romantically lonely. Do you see what I’m getting at?
I do. But if you feel so romantically lonely you’d settle for anyone, chances are you’ll end up in an unhealthy relationship.
And you might give off a vibe of desperation, which can be very off-putting for potential partners.
I woudln’t want to be with someone who chose me because I was the first person to smile at them
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Again, you’re right, I can’t come across as being too desperate. On the other hand, there’s been times when I’ve had no trouble attracting female attention. Therefore, when it’s been the case of a mutual attraction, I’ve maybe broken at least 2 or 3 hearts by not asking them out. I had a good talk with our OT on Friday about this and while I think she’s been the most concerned about my perpetual bachelorhood, she’s not the only one. In the end, it’s my choice when it all comes down to it. I know what it means to be in an unhealthy relationship, because the only person I was ever in any kind of relationship with, I wasn’t physically attracted to at all. I also know what it means to be tempted to want to go to the other extreme as well. So, yes I know very well that you don’t just go with whoever walks your way and shows interest.
I think you’re under a false impression that having a partner will make your inappropriate feelings go away. It won’t. It will only mean you feel even more inappropriate about them, because now you risk being a cheater as well as just hurting people. The way to handle this is by working through your feelings in therapy, and then once you’re happy with where you are in life and NOT obsessed with someone else, you can look for a relationship with an available person you are attracted to.
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