Schizophrenia.com

Ok I might have discovered it

So I recently have been thinking I have schitz or developing it, with my symptoms. (I have the topics on my profile ) and right now I was researching a bit more about psychosis and found out it said people with 22q11 deletion can develop schitz/psychosis, so anyways, I read that people with 22q11 (which I think I have) have heart defects, which I actually have heart disease (I have BAV) so my point is I might have discovered something but I’ll never be sure because I am not planning on seeing a psychiatrist ever or counselor or talking to my parents I know it sounds easy but I can’t explain my relationship with my parents they just can’t and won’t deal with this right now… it’s complicated maybe I’ll make a topic about it…

I’m really sorry you’re having so much trouble with the idea of talking to your parents. I don’t know your situation, but my mom was an absolute nightmare when I was first developing symptoms at 14. She was convinced I was just trying to get attention, and I could just get over my problems with willpower and positive thinking.

Over time, and over years of forcing the issue directly in her face, she has slowly come around. I think the moment she saw the light was right after I found a medication that worked. Suddenly, I was the happy girl she used to know again, and she realized I had actually been trying to get better all along.

I think in her case, it must have been unbelievably hard to watch her daughter go from being an outgoing social butterfly to the weird kid who chopped off all her hair and dressed like a boy and hid under her bed whenever a helicopter flew overhead.

If your parents aren’t open right now, the only way to change their attitude is to educate them, constantly. It took me ten years for my mom to admit that I had an actual, psychiatric disease. It took another two for her to stop telling me I just need to try harder. It sucks, and nobody will be having a good time, but eventually it can pay off.

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Thanks for understanding, sorry you went through that… maybe my mom will realize it soon hopefully when she’s doing better she’s just very stressed out these days about her job and family problems and she already has a lot of problems right now so I don’t want to add more…I don’t live with my dad and we don’t really have a good relationship at all so it’s complicated…

Please at least talk to a counselor. But I have to be honest with you, if you have developing psychosis (I’m not qualified to say if you do or not) and you don’t get help for it, chances are pretty good that your mom will eventually have to deal with something much bigger and much scarier and much more disruptive and stressful than taking you to a doctor now.

On top of that, she could be left to deal with it on her own without any help from you, because you will be past the point where you can recognize something is wrong and may actively work against her. So if you think you’re doing her a favor by not saying anything, please think longer and more honestly about this.

It seems like you’re basing this on the assumption that things will stay about the same with you. If you are in the early stages of psychosis, (again, not saying you are or aren’t) that isn’t the case. Just a cursory look at the stories on this forum will tell you that.

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Actually, I really recommend you spend some time reading the Family section, if you want to get an idea about what it can be like for mothers of children who have lost insight.

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Your mom may be stressed out now, but it is nothing compared to what she will experience if you do have a full psychotic break. It is very tempting to think you can manage by yourself when the symptoms are mild, but as @Rhubot says, they have the potential to get terrible fast. You are lucky enough to recognize the problem before it gets unmanageable, but what you are experiencing are definite warning signs. Your brain is trying to tell you that if you don’t get help soon, you could lose yourself, maybe forever.

Why won’t you see a therapist? Just curious…

I’m 13 years old I can’t do it on my own…

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I think you are being very brave. Keep up the good work.

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I think my mom is noticing I’m acting weird but I think I’m going to soon tell my school counselor I’m thinking sometime this year I’m going to wait until my mom is better…

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Oh, I see. You can’t go this alone, though. Do you have an aunt, uncle, cousin…someone trust worthy?

No…not really…

Hey I just wanted to check in on you. How have things been this week? Have you talked to anyone yet? How have you been feeling?

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I haven’t talked to anyone yet…things have pretty much been the same and the same symptoms… although I’ve noticed I’ve been feeling more empty in a way like losing my emotions…

Have you got a teacher at school you could talk to? One who has known you a while?

No I don’t like my staff I don’t trust anyone at my school… haven’t ever bonded with any teachers really or people that much

Actually to be completely honest, even if I could get help I don’t think i would want it, I don’t know I just don’t really care anymore about anything I’ve just been very depressed and confused it’s hard to explain why I’m depressed it’s not like family issues or anything…

Try talking with your Mum again.

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Clinical depression doesn’t need a reason. It just means your neurotransmitters are out of balance. I’m sorry you can’t bring yourself to care right now. I hope that changes, because life really can get better with help.

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