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OCD and memory connection?

So after performing my ocd compulsion one time, i immediately forget that i did the compulsion or not. So I do the compulsion again the 2nd time.

Is my memory bad or is it something else ?

Anybody know something about this ?

oh boy! yes this is a part of OCD. there were times i was walking to work and had to run all the way back just to check the door, over and over again.

this is just OCD doing its thing, not bad memory c:

Well after thinking alot i think it is indeed my obsessive doubts. I doubt my own memory that i have not done the compulsion.

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Its actually catatonia. OCD is just one symptom of catatonia.

Catatonia gives lapses in attention and this attention lapse create working memory problems and this is the reason for rapid forget.

In simpler terms. Your mind goes blank for split second during that time you not aware of anything just like in sleep. Then when your awareness returns or attention come back you try to recollect and you not sure if you did it or not or some other and this turns to a doubt which gives obsession, compulsion to do it etc. If the urges stay in mind for longer period it get changed to intrusive thoughts just like in OCD. Serotonin enhancers and SSRI drugs used in regular OCD can worsen short term memory even though the urge is not so strong. Reason for that is serotonin opposes dopamine. Low dopamine can worsen working and short term memory further.

I’ll explain how you forget it.

Suppose you are washing your hands carefully. Someone asked you something you responded instantly. After responding you are unsure if you washed your hands properly and to suppress the doubt (obsession) you wash again (compulsion).

This interference or distractions makes you to forget previous event even if it occurred seconds back. If take SSRI your ability to recall previous event diminishes but your urge to redo or obsess get reduced.

The reason is SSRI reduces dopamine. Less dopamine less focus or concentration thus that previous event not registered intensely this why hard to recall. Also due to low dopamine your urge to press on or focus on the urge to redo is less thus less urge to obsess or do compulsion.

I have this exactly

You have any studies that back this claim ?

It’s typical OCD behavior.

I have this. When I take serotonin enhancing things my short term memory get worse. I forget what I did few minutes back. Its catatonia induced OCD which is caused by dopamine deficiency in prefrontal cortex region in brain.

I think you do this because you get the feeling that the compulsive ritual you did is incomplete or not perfect. This creates doubt and anxiety and so you do the compulsion again to overcome the anxiety.

Yes exactly. When I wash I need to make sure its perfect. So if I get a thought that some dirt fall on hand I get urge to wash again.

You can test this like this.

Imagine some dirt in your hand. Visualize it. You feel like it as if real. In normal person even if they imagine or think they not believe it as quickly. Our own thoughts and imaginations creating most of these doubts.

Is your awareness of surroundings reduced as years went by or is it constant? Mine worsened progressively. 10 years back intrusive thoughts were very severe, it not go from mind easily, always haunts whatever activity I do. But nowadays even though the initial obsession and compulsion urge is high it quickly vanishes away due to rapid forget. Thus those urges not able to become intrusive thought.

https://www.jmhhb.org/article.asp?issn=0971-8990;year=2017;volume=22;issue=1;spage=55;epage=60;aulast=Sahu

Conclusion: Visuospatial memory was significantly impaired in OCD that included disturbed encoding and impaired visuospatial functioning.

I just dont trust my eyes and memory. I have doubts about them.

I can clearly see the door is closed, so due to trust issues, I keep checking the door again and again.

Similarly i can clearly feel my hands are dry, i dont trust my feelings, so i dry my hands with towel again and again.

The reason is you believe in every impulse, urge, thought, feeling etc even if its true or false. Then another factor is habit. When you wash hands for some dirt or some other you are compelled to repeat every time when faced with that dirt. This then become a habit or automatic response. So now two things one due to believing and other due to habit.