Now what to do? In a fix

So another update in my very hectic life is i made plans to see muslim judicial council but only in January the lady said is appt to start divorce proceedings. They’re fully booked till then.

In meantime what I decided to do is to collect some more stuff from my house on Sunday - my most important possessions like laptop and personal documents and art things, my favourite books, and a few more clothes etc.

Then the pdoc at hospital finally gave me a call and spoke about my husband - he actually does have sz as well as the epilepsy! It’s crazy - two of us schizo! A recipe for disaster as it has turned out!

Not only that but he’s doing well and being discharged today. TODAY???!!! this really shocked me because I didn’t want to see him yet till after I collect my stuff.

Everything is happening so fast! He will have to stay with his parents but sometimes in past he asked them to drop him at our place so he can relax there alone.

But now I have no way to know if he will be there when I collect my stuff on Sunday. And I need to scratch in his drawer for marriage certificate and don’t want him to know.

My mom advised me to not tell him of my decision to divorce yet, but only say I want separation for a few weeks. So how will it look to him for me to take marriage certificate - or a copy - with me?

Oh God, I wish he wasn’t coming home quite just yet! I know it seems selfish of me to think that but in the situation I’m in its not easy…

And he is most likely going to phone soon. What am I going to say to him?? My mom just said I must say I’m taking a break at my sister and that I want a little time apart. But what if his parents tell him what I told his sister - about possibly leaving him? God I. Was. So. Stupid.!!!

What on earth to do now???


Honestly I think you should talk to him and just tell him the truth even if it’s just over the phone. I know it’s stressful but he’s going to find out eventually

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I think you need to tell him instead of sneaking around about it


Tell him but do it over the phone. It’s better than in person where it could be dangerous. Your making the right decision to break up. Some things just can’t be fixed.

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Mom gave you good advice. Tell him you need a mental break from him for a few weeks…then see where it all leads from there.


If you’re sure you’re leaving, just be honest with him. He can’t kick you out. You can gather your things. Call police to escort you in the house to get the certificate etc if absolutely necessary.


OMG!!! I just realised something - he can’t get in house because he doesn’t have KEY!! :joy::joy::joy::joy: I’ve got his set and mine is in house. AWESOME realisation!! YAY! :laughing:

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I’m going to put it in postbox when I leave and his dad can collect it

Shame I do feel sorry for him - but it has to be done…

Don’t take this the wrong way @Hadeda
But could you be in a manic state?


Dunno i feel so happy but manic? Dunno. Just excited. Never felt so happy in my LIFE! I’m so FREE! It’s been eight years of suffocating and I’m a bird set free.

You’d be happy too if you could finally be yourself after trying to conform to another’s wishes and restrain yourself.



If you are sure that you want to leave him and it sounds like you’ve had enough then I would tell him but over the phone.

It’s safer this way.

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Thanks @Wave what I plan to do is first fetch my most important stuff on Sunday then next time I phone him I will tell him. If he phones tomorrow (Saturday) I will just tell him I’m taking a break and will be back soon…

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Good luck @Hadeda

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Thanks @Wave! 151515

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Oh yes and I forgot to say my husband was diagnosed with sz as well as temporal lobe epilepsy. So we’re both schizo. Just goes to show it can’t work - two unstable people…

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