Schizophrenia.com

Not sure what is going on


#1

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been getting harassed for my body odor. Though no one besides my family has told me out right that I stink.I hear comments about it (without saying my name or by using someone else’s name. Anyone know what it’s called? Passive aggression?) My mom says mean things about it and Tells me I am like I am seriously (not joking)crazy sometimes and contradicts herself by telling me I don’t smell in a nice tone. (The old do I look fat in these jeans situation)Wtf? People say I don’t smell when I ask them genuinely but they talk ■■■■ at a distance or talk about showers and deodorant when I am around. Which confuses me because I use these regularly. I don’t smell anyone with wicked Bo in any social situation that I have so I assume they are indirectly talking about me. I get told to take a shower before going to school (which I do every time I go out anyway)
I think I am being harassed in an organized way, people getting together and calling my name and walking away because they think I am psychotic and making fun of me. I actually took a tape recorder with me to school and got random stuff like a girl passing by me saying man rack since I am kind of overweight, I got the teacher saying stuff about me too. It is hard to prove because they say things indirectly. I get the feeling that someone is doesn’t like me for talking too much ■■■■ is warning people about me and actively trying to undermine me. I’ve heard my relatives say stuff like whispering I stink or make indirect comments about me with key terms letting me know they are talking about me. Is this organized harassment or is it a way to treat psychotic patients /schizophrenia patients by having them face their “delusions” or is this a way to harass a perceived bully? I’ve been hearing voices in my head imagining someone judging my actions since I was in middle school and thought it was normal as “normal” people on tv and people I ask do this kind of stuff all the time and just brush it off like I do.

How do I prove that I am being harassed and what can I do? Can I have a lawyer subpoena people’s text messages without them knowing,If I think I am being harassed in a school setting where the teacher is “in on it”

It feels like people use the label crazy to discredit people so that they can $hit talk about people with little to no consequence.

I feel like I say stuff that doesn’t make sense but can’t help it. Like I recall a bad memory and after I get the feeling I say stuff like ■■■■ or bitch ■■■■■ or jerk or loser out loud in class without having control of it.

Do people do this? They gossip about a perceived bully to people in their environment to undermine the person’s interactions to make them crazier than they are perceived.

I have been playing trumpet for 16 years and feel relieved that there are talented studio musicians (trumpet) like Bud Brisbois who was so talented but lost just battle to bipolar disorder when he committed suicide at a young age. I felt like I was not the only one on this earth suffering, if I truly am mentally ill.
I know this was a long read but I have been bottling this up for years and have suffered 5 years if being jobless, lonely and a shut in from age 20-25. I lost some of the best years of my life to malicious indirect talk that I can only attribute to something I said or did.

Thanks in advance for the comments!


#2

You’re ill. I dont mean to be harsh, but understand this. You have paranoid schizophrenia, and I have it too. You are not imagining these people talking about you, it is real to you. But it is not real to anyone else. I know that’s hard to understand, because it is perfectly real to you, but you must realize that it is not actually real. You have a distorted perception of reality, and I have it too. I take medication and it helps a whole lot. You need to see a psychiatrist and tell them what you’ve been experiencing. They can help you find peace and make your suffering end. Please trust me, I am just like you, and the medication has made my life much better.


#3

But what if people know that I am paranoid schizophrenic and harass me about it.


#4

That’s similar to what I thought- I thought I was th subject of psychological experiments (how much can a paranoid schizophrenic take before he snaps and kills someone) and still sometimes do, but I catch myself doing it. You’re eerily similar to me.


#5

hi I think you need to see a doctor can you get your mum to take you to a gp and tell them all that’s going on for you tcxxx


#6

how would they know? keep it a secret is my advice.
thats also a good indication for you, if they do indeed talk about you,
see in how many months they do know about it.
and test yourself about how they could know?
-did you talked about it, to anyone?
-did you visit a psychiatrist in the local neighbourhood “could have kids that are in the same school as you”?allthough they have secrecy, not too disclose patients information to any one

  • did you family talked about it too other people?,
    dont say too much too anyone…

so you can see by this you have a tool, too check if your thought is right

hope it will help you


#7

My mom gossips to everyone about everyone so there is no doubt in my mind she is the one responsible. She also says the cruelest things to people, brush it under the rug and never apologize about it and act like your best friend the next day. I think that is why all her relationships are bad. (I think I might do this too but I do it more indirectly)People mock her by talking ■■■■ about someone else but you can tell that they really are just parroting the bad things she says about other people, especially us (her kids) and using different names for these people but they are just mocking her to get in good with her so they can get money for tuition or whatever. I always think that my cousins (her nieces and nephews are scum for taking advantage of her like that since she is so generous with her money) listening to her complain for money. I can’t talk objectively about myself as I do not know how I act towards other people.

Cats out of the bag, so the best thing for me might be to move and cut people out of my life and start fresh.


#8

ok, so dont tell you mom about what was discussed during your
session with the psychiatrist.

i think cutting people out is also not a good thing.
just dont tell them about your illness or the specifics of your illness


#9

It’s too late for that. The person I talked to more than likely told her everything when she picked me up. I heard bits and pieces of it.

Also, like I said before I use a tape recorder so I know for a fact that people are harassing me


#10

it’s no big deal;
society says lots of things,
good and bad,
you can’t live your life to please them.
they demand we groom our madness,
gotta shower once a day or so,
wear clothes purchased in the last year,
brush teeth clip nosehairs,
get a job, clean up after yourself, don’t infringe on others;
you will of course, but try to defer.
other than that, the hell with them.
they won’t like you anyway,
you aren’t genetically close enough to them
for them to recognize themselves in you.
you aren’t rock and roll enough,
you aren’t country enough,
you aren’t clean enough,
you aren’t rich enough,
so the hell with them.

sz is about our fears.
\some have fears about their sexuality, so the voices tell them they are gay.
some have a fear of dying, so the voices tell them that they are being poisoneed,
and that people are trying to kill them.
and you, you want people to like you.
they won’t - not most of them, they are not motivated to like you, they like themselves.

don’t look to human society as caretakers or wise people, cause they aren’t
they are a bunch of misbehaving little kids in the sand box,
yeah they are going to make nasty comments and body gestures,
you could live your life paying attention to it
till every word from a passing stranger is a slight,
every body movement of someone near you an impending attack- hey , i practice that too,
it’s fun when you are insane and have nothing to lose,
go out in society and be so unreal to everybody,
till they call the cops or something,
make believe they are all here to attack me and i have to counter attack,
yeah but it’s all just a fun delusion,
truth is they are dim witted lost sheep
thinking about their own comfort, and consumtion.
they don’t care if you put on deoderant and they don’t care if you take a shower,
if they say they care, and you follow through,
it’ll be something new tomorrow.

the ones that are actually harassing you and not part of your perception,
aren’t trying to make you a better person or a cleaner person,
they are trying to make you look up to them as some kind of higher authority,
desperate moves by desperate species;

see how if you just stop caring your problems evaporate?
they won’t , not really,
your mind will continue to try to get your attention,
if not afraid of death or social isolation or sexual identity,
they can always try interesting you in mysticism,
that’s the one i fall for…

come here, my madness,
tell me more delusions about the role and structure and purpose and direction
of the mystical universe.

and he sure does!


#11

I think what is happening is that when you ask people directly if you smell then perhaps they feel embarrassed about saying yes. It seems like they are trying to drop hints that you do but are doing it in such a way that is only confusing you. Sometimes even taking showers do not get rid of body odor if you are not using enough soap or put back on your old cloths.

Saying stuff like ■■■■, loser without having control over it could a form of thought disorder or even tourrettes syndrome. A doctor may be able to help you sort out what is causing this.

It seems that you may be going through a confusing time right now. It must be hard feeling like everyone is talking about you. I think there is a possibility that what you are experiencing is what is called paranoia. It can be a symptom of paranoid schizophrenia. Is it possible for you to talk to someone like a doctor about what you are feeling? Maybe they can help you sort through all this so that you don’t lose contact with your mom.


#12

That’s actually what my shrink said the first time I told him that people were talking about me- he said “bring back proof”…I think your delusions are getting the best of you. You should see a psychiatrist ASAP and tell him this stuff…I am in remission but it took trial and error and a lot of time finding the right meds…and meds are all sedating so be ready to get a caffeine habit. You should make this your number one priority, as far as time and money are concerned. You obviously know you have schizophrenia or you wouldnt be posting on this forum, so take the next step and get on medication. I just see you in the exact same stage I was in, and medication is the only thing that can help you. I tried everything else before meds, I heard about their side effects in a psych class on drugs, and I was afraid to take them, but the new meds are actually pretty managable…i just have sedation and restless leg syndrome, which are an ironic combination…but there’s more meds for restless leg syndrome so I take them too.


#13

If you are listening for a phrase you will hear it even if it is not really said. I know this sounds weird. Try going to the mall where there is lots of people and make up a short sentance like “where’s the ketchup?” Or something silly. Listen for someone to say it and you will hear it within two minutes. No one really said it but since you were expecting to hear it your brain convinces you you heard it. It is a hard thing to explain. Go in a crowd and make up a word. You will hear it. You can also hear words in the rain or in birds noises.