Not knowing any better

I really got mad when a pdoc suggested that someone might not have known any better about something. Now, I realize that not knowing any better is a lot of my problem. I had a disaster prone, fake it until you make it attitude. I have some very basic life lessons yet to learn, but it’s never too late to learn. It’s better than a wreckful suicide course.

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I’ve said it before - It’s good that your mind works. I guess.

Did you ever have trouble saying “I don’t know”? Sometimes that statement carries a lot of stress with it.

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No, I don’t think so in that sense. There was a time when my mantras were - I don’t care - and - I don’t know. I seemed to insist on saying these, as other people didn’t believe me.

I have an issue with admitting I don’t know something or admitting I’m wrong. I think i subconsciously relate it to my self worth in some way.

Trying to reprogram my defense mechanisms (this is my problem) is sometimes the hardest part of coming back to reality.

Recognizing a problem is a step in the right direction though right? You see that you need to make a change… The solution to that problem is now attainable.

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I did. Now that I remember, up until the 9th grade I didn’t allow myself that common luxury. It allowed me to not be human similar to the - I don’t know I adopted for the same reason. To keep me from being - like a god away from/ above or below everyone, a very ill-formed human.