My brother took his own life 3 years ago…Dad just died in October.
These were my two best friends and now they are gone. I’m looking forward to meeting them again, wherever they went.
I really don’t care if I live or die anymore.
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I’m not religious but I do believe our consciousness lives on after the death of our physical body.
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I’m just really squarely bored without these two dynamic friendships.
I still have my wife and daughters and extended family. I just don’t seem to care about anything anymore…depressed I suppose.
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I suppose not really caring whether you live or die can be awfully ‘freeing’ though.
Let it all hang out sorta thing, I guess.
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I’m sorry for your losses Patrick.
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Whatever
I was nothing…then became something. It’ll just happen again I suppose.
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I think John Lennon said…“It’s just like getting into another car.”
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Oh I’m so sorry @Patrick
I’m sorry for the losses of your brother and father and I’m sorry that you are depressed.
Please hang in there.
Their memories will be forever etched in your heart
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I’m just bummed these days…not going to make any poor decisions. I’ll get through this.
Thanks for the support…just freewheeling here with my thoughts tonight.
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Get to feeling better. I haven’t seen you here in a while. Hugs
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@Patrick , I understand your pain. I’m sorry for your losses. Please don’t give up. There are still good things out there in life that can be good for you personally. I was depressed for a very long time and no longer wish for death. It’s worth it to push through and survive. Ultimately, you’ll not just survive, you’ll live to the fullest.
I hope you find peace in your family members passing…it’s hard…I know…don’t hurt yourself brother…we are here for you.
Again, I’m sorry to hear that your father died recently.
I’m not a psychologist and I’m not medically or legally qualified to talk about your experience, so I’ll talk about mine, whether people say I’m making it about me or not:
I remember being so depressed once several years ago that I wanted to die for at least three hours. After 3 hours, I finally remembered that I thought maybe I could still do some good for one of my loved ones if I stayed alive. I talked with a psychologist about it, later.
Within a few years after that though, I began to believe that I have a more abstract purpose in life. Whether that will give me will to live IF I lose all of my loved ones remains to be seen, if it is ever seen.
I think that finding an abstract purpose in life can be useful. I’ve mentioned choosing a ‘value system’ on this site before. I know someone who says repeatedly that they have to live 10 more years for their pets. They seem to have chosen a value system that’s about protecting the young and innocent of any mamalian species. (Edit) Or also birds. (/Edit)
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I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of not Living before I die.
Also @Patrick, you have two daughters who want to keep you around. If you can’t care for yourself then care for them.
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maybe you’ve lost hope Patrick…what gives you hope? build on that hope and look for things that give you hope…keep stoking the hope fire…it will get bigger and then you will really, really truly care about life and what it has to offer. sorry you’re so down…I’ve been there times seven.
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I think it’s just a bad time of year @Patrick . I was having thoughts like that last night.
I feel like that too sometimes.
I’m sorry for your losses @Patrick. Your father passed away very recently and I’m sure it’s affecting how you’re feeling. This is normal. I hope you feel better soon.
The spring and sunshine will help. 