Not a good day

My stomach is filled with anxiety. To the point that I’ve been very nauseuous all day. I feel like a failure. I can’t do anything right. Work is frustrating today. At home on my lunch break. Why was there a police officer out there? In their car in the parking lot. Why are they here? Its scary. Things dont feel real. Are these my hands and feet? My head is fuzzy. Thinking through a thick fog. Places feel wrong. This isnt right. I’m not supposed to be here. It looks same but feels wrong

My brain feels detached from my body. Im stilloving it but it doesn’t feel like mine. I can hear their whisperings in the back of my mind. Can’t let myself pay attention. Sometimes a accidentally hear a little bit. Not good things.

My feet are stuck. Im standing in the kitchen. I want to move but my body wont. I tried and almost moved but I couldnt. I know physically i can move but why wont I?

I dont wanna go back to work. I dont wanna deal with this and the people and the noises. But i already left early this week. And how do I explain this to my boss.

Hes already a little unhappy with me cause im not working as fast as others

I know im not in a good mental state and shoving it down and returning to work isnt goid and will most like make it worse come later but im kot sure what else to do

I think i need to go talk to my boss. I dont think i should keep working and try to shove it aside. I can tell that thats already done a lot of harm.

Its hard though. Im scared to leave the apartment. What if someone is out there waiting for me

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Sorry you’re having a rough day. Hoping you feel better. Who knows why the police were there. They go to many places.

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I feel the same way when I get paranoid. I’m too the point now let em get me I’m tired of fighting it. Kinda makes it easier.

Our house is on a main street and there is often a police car hiding to arrest people who speed or who don’t do their stop.

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