Normal-Society Tips?

DX'd - Sz/SzA
#1

So, I wanted to start a thread that gives advice on how to “fit in” (infiltrate would be a better word) with normal society.

At some point, we all hopefully join normal society and learn to navigate non-schizophrenic spheres. I like to think (and I have been told) that my communication skills are good. This is by far not a given for me. I worked hard to get here, to learn to communicate without inappropriate or missing affect.I spent a lot of time in classrooms during my college time, and I learned to observe the normals in their natural classroom environment.

Basically, are there any tips you have that can convince a normal you, too, are normal? Here are my examples, most of them random (these tips kept me sane through my undergrad and grad school years):

a. Wear scented lotion if female. Wearing a fragrance or scented lotion is a common practice among normal females. They often do this when heading into groups. I also find this can serve as an ice breaker, as people in my classes used to get curious and ask what lotion I was putting on. Also, to my paranoid brain, it masks my custom natural scent. Paranoid-version-of-me hates not concealing my natural scent.

b. Remember that sarcasm can be difficult to detect. Human emotion, basically, can be a burdensome and exhausting ordeal of critical thinking, assessment and reassessment. Normals do this automatically, almost. I have little to no sense of sarcasm, not in internet life, not in in-person life. Instead, I sometimes just ask, “are you joking?” straight out. Most people think people who don’t get sarcasm are ditzy, but really I think it’s a negative symptom. Once, a guy was like, “don’t you have a college degree? You seriously can’t tell I’m joking?” and I blurted out that I was really stoned (I just have little to no sense of sarcasm and I was not stoned at that moment).

c. When you haven’t made a facial expression in a while, mimic the expression of the person you are speaking to. I do this a lot and I think that’s why I get called high functioning by doctors and mental health professionals. Really, I’m just acting using some type of mimicry method acting skill. I just improv off the person I’m talking to. It’s painful, but I think I am learning how to mimic the normals proficiently.

what are your tips?

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#2

Humour is the best ice breaker.

Some people are good with maps…others remember names and places…others recall movies and actors…etc.

Me? I can recall almost every joke or funny situation that has ever happened to me. Kind of a gift. So no matter what the topic of discussion is, I’ll have a joke or funny story to add to it most every time.

This has kept me in good stead conversationally throughout my life. Never a dull moment when you hang with me! :wink:

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#3

you are lucky. my sense of humor is lacking. This is a good idea, I need to rehearse funny stories before I go into a group situation.

you must have charisma to be so entertaining! My ex was like this, he’d spark up conversations with anybody anywhere and he’d always get them to smile and engage with him…it always seemed like such a magic trick.

#4

I’m not planning to join ‘normal’ society any soon or forever

#5

We had this REALLY hardass Supervisor…never cracked a smile.

I’m in the shipping business. We were literally shipping a box of frozen eyeballs (corneas) to the local University that day to be prepared for human transplant.

So I pointed to the box and said to my Supervisor. Be careful not to shake that box, or some poor dude will end up cross-eyed.

He laughed as hard and as loud as you could imagine, and ever since he’s had a big grin whenever he sees me! :sunny:

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#6

uhhh ■■■■ society… seriously… as if there is one culture… as if there is one way of life… ■■■■ society…

something @sarad passed to me.


#7

There really is…of people who aren’t paranoid and who don’t hear voices and don’t have negative symptoms…

#8

I have a friend who makes serial killer jokes alot…i think its funny…but it doesnt kill in all circles…ha…caution is a good practice…try to make them talk…bring up subjects they like…ask them generalized questions…nod your head insert laugh agree then troll the ■■■■ outa them … … Most people enjoy talking and will continue to mindlessly go on and on and on if allowed… I also say ■■■■ the normies but i find it fills a hole to engage in banter with normies if for nothing else but to troll them with obscure references…so a careful facade employing my spy skills is useful for infiltration of the normies…that should be our book…the sz guide to the normies …infiltration and trolling guide…

#9

i sense an appreciation of non-conformity and a distaste for conforming. Of course, apathy and a refusal to integrate into mainstream reality are themselves traits of sz, but still, some of us want to get better socially, hence the question.

If you want a job among the normals, learning how to conform is a necessity. I learned this from not conforming to society for about a decade. It was a painful, isolating time. Now that I am on medication and sarcosine, I have learned that a certain amount of conformity makes life better.

So, maybe I should rephrase the question: to those who want to function in society, what are your tips?

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#10

My tips are, listen, think before you talk and smile a lot. :smile:

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#11

Rule number 1. Remember that you are a part of normal society.

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#12

Just ask lots of questions. Most people love being asked questioned and talking about things that most people won’t care about, and it gets them to do all of the socializing work for you. Just pick one detail of whatever they say each turn they take, and casually ask a new question about the new detail. Eventually they get this vibe about them like they are satisfied with the conversation, and then you excuse yourself.

If you run into someone who doesn’t seem to like that you are asking questions, you may have found yourself a fellow undercover paranoid.

Win-Win

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#13

A great post. My game plan is to look physically like a normal person. I’m losing weight, and then gonna buy new clothes more often.

I have no intention of faking my personality though. That’s a road to ruin in my opinion.

I have the added complication of finding quite a lot of normies boring though.

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#14

i know i wrote about letting normal people post here but i still don’t truly know what is normal,

i think it is holding down a job, starting a family and running a nice big house but apart from that i’m lost, they probably shouldn’t have mental health problems though.

i think my tips for talking to a person without mental illness is to try and keep it real, don’t be too serious, enjoy yourself and try and be interesting, i always try to have something to talk about like the weather or maybe say something like if someone is wearing something new you could ask if it is new and then say its nice or something, i am a people pleaser and proud to be and it works for me.

#15

I think the most successful tactic I’ve implemented is the smile. I always smile at people when I look at them. It has gotten easier over the years. The only catch is when they don’t smile back, I find it so offensive. I then have to put effort into not reacting. Other times, I’m distracted and “in my head” and I smile awkwardly. I can feel it and I know I look weird. :grin: