Normal relationship: possible or impossible?

I just took a “selfie” with no makeup (I only ever wear face powder and eye liner, but it makes a difference) and compared that with a photo from before I was married. It’s shocking what a toll the past 3 years has taken. I believe I’ve aged ten years. I look tired, and I am. I’ve gained weight because I’ve been eating my feelings. I used to exercise regularly and now it’s infrequent and takes a huge effort. I’m stressed much of the time, even now that I’m on summer break. Things were supposed to get better when I got married. It seems like everything about me has gotten worse. I can’t help but think this is a sz thing. Is it sz making me rebel against this normalcy? Is that what it is? I feel guilty, but the fact is I’ve lost my personal balance.

Are you sure you’re not being too hard on yourself?

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My wife and I are both fatter and more dishevelled after 16 years of marriage. We both tease each other about our bellies.

We just say to each other, “Relax, you’re not 21 anymore!” :wink:

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I am hard on myself, that’s true. But I’m not happy with myself right now.

That’s cute, @Patrick :blush: I’ve only been living with my husband for three years. I feel like I’ve aged ten.
How do you keep yourself balanced while still giving attention to your wife? I feel like I’ve neglected myself terribly.

If it makes u feel better, my mom has a statue of a hedgehog in her garden

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Yes, hedgehogs always help. Thank you :blush:

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possible. but not for me

Meet a man, fall in love. :couple:
I know it worked for my mother. :smirk:

And…start eating healthy. Toxins from the food are making us feel tired and look wasted and old.

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@Sarad, I’m married :neutral_face: And he’s a good man and I love him. I just don’t like marriage very much. Something has to change. I have to make myself better, but at this moment it feels like a mountain to climb. You’re so cute, @Sarad :blush:

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You know, life is short and sometimes a moment changes everything. We live either in future or in the past, but never in present…Images from the past makes yyou bitter and sad and worrying about future only gives more stress…
I wish I could say something smart but you are very intelligent and I know you’ll figure it out.

:heart_decoration:

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I bet you are more beautiful than you give yourself credit for? I have a big belly too but what am I going to do? I do nothing and it makes me feel bad…just part of getting older. I pray for motivation, maybe that’s what you should do?

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I don’t think it’s necessarily a sz thing, because I think everyone goes through these types of feelings, however I think the sz complicates how we see ourselves and our relationships.

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That’s the core of it, @jukebox, and you understand. I need to pray instead of eating whenever I’m upset. I don’t pray very well anymore. Thanks for the encouragement :blush: (My husband has a belly too. I think he looks cute)

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Thank you , @anon68237654. I’ve really put him through the ringer, so to speak. I’m paranoid, have trust issues, and I always think he doesn’t love me anymore. Sometimes I lash out at him, and sometimes I just cry…it’s been hard for him. I think I push him to the edge on purpose, to test and prove that no one loves me, not even him. If I keep up the way I have, I’ll push him right over that edge. How do married people with sz keep the balance of give and take so that they don’t neglect themselves and don’t drive a partner away?

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I have seen a picture of you @Hedgehog and you are gorgeous.

I don’t want to down play what you are feeling right now, but I just want you to know you don’t have anything to worry about.

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I’ve done a lot of the same things. I was sure she was cheating again, then I was sure she was drugging me, and was even sure that she was poisoning me. I don’t have an answer for you, because I don’t think I’ve found one for myself yet. I just try to remind myself that if she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t still be with me. And with that I know that she loves me and can then be confident that she wants the best for me, regardless of how I might interpret things at times.

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That’s really sweet of you @anon84763962 :heart:️ I’ve been so stressed and keep eating and not taking care of myself… I’ll get through this.

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Thank you for the laugh! Omg. I’m a total dork. That’s awesome, you totally made me smile :grin:

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