"Non-binary, or genderqueer, is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine‍"

That’s taken from Wikipedia . Physically I accept I’m male . In terms of feminine and masculine I’ve always been far more ambivalent . Quite a lot of that involves feelings of social inadequacy compared to other people , be they male or female . I see myself as not being like the average male or female .

I think I’m too old to think of myself in terms of non-binary or not , but not seeing myself as exclusively masculine or feminine is something I’ve felt for a long time . It certainly predates by several decades the usage of such terms as non-binary and genderqueer.

You’re never too old to embrace yourself! One of my good friends didn’t come out as trans until she was 50, and she thought she was too old for a long time. She wasted years being jealous of young people for being able to embrace themselves. Now that she’s living as a woman, she’s much happier. And, bonus, she says the hormone therapy has stopped her suicidal thoughts entirely.


The G.I thing with me is complex ,or at least my mind makes it so . Years back a dx was 'schizophrenia with disorder of gender identity ’ . Over time I’ve wondered how much of that was an autistic/psychotic obsession .

It became quite clear that due to my history of severe mental illness SRS would not be considered as a possible option . When that mentally fully registered with me I saw myself as having 2 options , keep tilting at windmills and getting increasingly stressed and frustrated or just mentally detach myself from it as best I could .

Over time I’ve realised that my practical/ social inadequacies would be a barrier to successfully living as a woman as it is to doing so as a man .

As a side note . The first pdoc I remember having was later head of the G.I unit at Charing cross .

It’s totally up to you. Nobody can tell you how to live your life. But srs/hormones aren’t necessary parts of living as a trans person. You can simply declare yourself a woman/genderqueer/whatever person and then ask people to use certain pronouns when talking to you. I mean, really, who do you interact with other than your step daughter and your support workers? Your support workers are required by law to respect whatever identity you have, and your step daughter will love you no matter what.

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