Nobody understands

Nobody understands me. I had anxiety so bad this morning. Hubby and I were supposed to go to a wedding today and then I saw the weather and clouds looked funny like they were thundery like there was a risk to possibly be thunder and lightning and I’m TERRIFIED of it. So I cowered away and chickened out and said to hubby I can’t go. So I said to him please phone his dad to fetch him but he insisted on going himself even though he’s not supposed to drive alone due to his epilepsy.

Now I’m worried for his safety as well as the weather. And when I contacted my mom and told her my woes she just shoved her religion down my throat saying the reason I have mental illness is bcuz I don’t accept Jesus as my saviour. And that becoming Muslim has made me become sick bcuz my God is not her God and my illness is bcuz of a spiritual battle blah blah blah.

So I guess hubby doesn’t understand my fear of thunderstorms and now my mom doesn’t either, she thinks it’s bcuz I’m not Christian.

Where the hell to turn? I feel so despondent sometimes I just think of suicide but there I’m a coward too.

Nobody understands maybe my pdoc might know. I’m so glad I’m seeing her on Tues!

Maybe you guys will still understand my fears and anxiety…

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Sz is a bitch …again try to convience ur hubby and mum…

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Please show your mom an article (there should be at least one on the web) which clearly states that schizophrenia strikes an even percentage of people, regardless of social status, wealth, religion, etc.

I understand your fear of lightning. People have irrational fears sometimes. For example, my fear of swallowing pills. I am afraid I will choke on them, so I chew my pills every time. Actually, fear of thunder storms is somewhat justified because there have been lots of cases of people who died by electrocution…

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what a mess of a situation.

see if you can send him a short text like:

“just checking on you to see if you got there safe”

That may ease your mind about his safety?

The religion part, like a lot people, you are probably stuck with. Try to ignore it best you can.

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Some days living with this illness make you wonder ‘why me? Why does this day of all days have to be such a screw up’? Saadiqah, I would explain to your husband after he’s arrived home and had a chance to unwind, that what you felt about the threat of the thunderstorm was real to you because meteorological phenomena like rumbles of thunder and flashes of lighting cause you to feel frightened. Maybe you’ve always felt that way and it goes back to childhood or something.

Acknowledge that you understand the inconvenience of your odd behaviour which lead to him going by himself to the wedding without you, but that you didn’t have the confidence to go with the incoming storm. It was as simple as that, nothing too dramatic. Once he’s allowed to simmer down and life is back to its usual routine again, it will all be forgotten. Put it down to a bad day. He loves you and things will heal between you and him soon.

Your mom should gently accept the fact that Allah is the same God Muslims, Jews and Christians offer their prayers towards. That the three Abrahamic faiths of the world have One God, the creator of all. And that Jesus himself said ‘Let them be one.’ (John 17, v. 21)

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Thanks for your replies. Andrey, I also am scared of swallowing pills whole. I break them in quarters before swallowing. So I know how it feels.

My husband and I ok. He phoned to check on me and asked me if he should come fetch me for the reception so I said yes. So I went anyway. There was no thunderstorm as I thought. Clouds thinned out. When we got home hubby at first was upset at me then when I explained my fears I cannot help he said it’s ok.

My mom i don’t know how to handle. She messaged me again and I thought she would apologise but it was only to share that without Jesus I’m nothing.

Well I’m sorry Mom but I don’t agree.

How does one deal with religious fanatics like that? And of my own flesh and blood…

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I’m lucky enough that my parents never try to impose their convictions on me. Mom is an atheist, while dad is Christian but they don’t wear it like a crown… So I don’t know what to advise you Saadiqah. Maybe remind her that you were still a Christian when you first developed schizophrenia? (if that was indeed the case… because I do remember vaguely that you only recently converted to Islam).

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