No outside food

When I was in a state hospital, we used to talk about being afraid of the “outside world”. I find myself sucking on myself as if there were no outside food. Just making a connection, an analogy.

They waited until I ate one of my two Mcdonalds hamburgers, then declared “no outside food” and demanded the remaining burger. Pissed, I chewed up the remaining burger and spit it into the “Mcbag” and tossed it into their waiting hands and stormed off to my room.
If I couldn’t eat it, no one would.

When I was in the locked hospital for 8 months they would let me out for ten minutes a day. Some days all I did was walk. But there was a K-mart across the street. I used to go inside it and just walk around browsing the merchandise. At the check-out counter they had a barrel full of chunks of pure chocolate of different sizes…For a couple bucks I could buy a big piece of chocolate and take it back to my room and eat off it a couple days.

During one stay at the local hospital psych ward they let us order food delivery, wings, pizza, etc. Unfortunately, during my last stay, a four month stint, they put me on a strict diabetic diet, no fun.

When I was in Stanford psyche ward they kept a 5 gallon carton of ice cream in the freezer at all times. We could have as much as we wanted, anytime we wanted.

You mention ice cream. At the hospital in my town, on the psych ward they always used to have snacks and ice cream and stuff in the dining area. There was a fridge full of stuff and some cabinets as well. It was like that for 20 years at least that I know of.

Then one visit I found they had locked the fridge and the cabinets. Seems the diabetics kept eating things they weren’t supposed to and the doctors got tired of it. Now they strictly enforce the meals and snacks.

You can’t smoke there anymore either.

Well that sucks. Our ward had people with anorexia. They wouldn’t eat regular food so they kept these 1400 calorie (which is a lot) milkshakes in the fridge for them. They were fortified with vitimins and minerals and stuff because most of the anorexics purged and lost valuable nutrients. I use to drink a ton of them.

I used to take my son in vitamin drinks and snack foods, just had to show it to the nurses first. Sometimes we would bring in takeout and eat it with him. Others on the ward would be ordering pizza, wings etc.

@PinCushion Is this how you are feeling now or when you were in the hospital?

You all gave interesting responses but I was thinking more of a perceptual problem of not being able to perceive a happy, healthy outside food like we couldn’t perceive a happy healthy outside world.

When I was in the LTSR for four months, my family came to visit me, bringing fried chicken. We were eating it in the visitation room when my doctor walked in, she had been working late and wanted to meet my family.

Oh boy was she not pleased to see me eating fried chicken on my strict diet.

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Can you perceive a happy healthier outside world now? I’m hoping that you can.

the first time i was in i didn’t think that much about food but the next time i was on 600mgs seroquel and couldn’t stop eating and ordered out all the time as well as having breakfast lunch and dinner. i must’ve put on two stone during my stay there. never again will i take a pill that makes me eat that much, however bad i get. shots or nothing or i’ll wait till the meds improve. i don’t want to b fat!

Actually, right now, I’m having a difficult time. I have a worried look on my face. The weather might have a lot to do with it. It just isn’t letting up at all.


Were those chunks of chocolate made by “Ghirardelli” out of San Francisco?
I used to buy those quite often, are they still doing the chunks?

I don’t think they were made by Ghirardelli, but it was over 30 years ago and I can’t remember. And I haven’t seen any retail store that carries those chunks of chocolate like that for years. They were literally chunks, not neat little squares. They looked like someone took a 5 lb solid piece of chocolate and broke pieces of it by hand and wrapped cellophane around it. No two pieces were exactly the same weight or shape or size. Wow, I haven’t been to Ghirardelli Square in ages! I miss it.

I used to buy those same chunks of chocolate in and around the bay area, yeah, I guess it was over 30 years ago too. Ghirardelli was the only ones I knew who made those chunks, and haven’t seen them in a looooong time.