No one gets it and no one ever will get it

The difficulty of living in 2 worlds, the one of my dreams and the waking one. I can be in a dream that lasts years where all sorts of things happen and then I wake up to the same body and place and am expected to just act like nothing happened. Every night I go to a place where even the basic laws of physics are totally different and I’m expected to wake up and just make a seamless transition. I have to shove so much behind a dam in my head just to function every day and it’s exhausting, I can’t stand it and I can’t vent about it because no one understands.

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I can relate to having very out there experiences and getting zero understanding from other people.

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@Anna I am sorry you have suffered. I am always terrified by your accounts of demonic assault. Can’t begin to understand what it must be like.

You said you got really good results from respiridone but unfortunately you got hyperprolactinaemia.

It’s just I think there might be meds’ you could take to combat that and still stay on respiridone. Low dose abilify (like 2-5mg) added on to the respiridone often completely reverses high prolactin. Plus there are meds like bromocriptine which I think are dopamine agonists (not 100% sure on this).

Do you think you could discuss these options with a pdoc. I don’t think a nurse that prescribes would be qualified to make such judgements.

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Ps I strongly suspect like you said 5-ht2a may be going on with you. Your experiences sound totally psychedelic - in the worst possible way.

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It wouldn’t stop the weight gain however. Its weight gain is actually caused by the high blockade of serotonin :disappointed: Very unfortunate. I asked my pdoc about it before (I am seeing an actual doctor now) and he agreed there were meds to go on to help w the prolactin but he didn’t seem like he wanted to risk it and wanted to try me on other meds first. But nothing else has worked.

Today I was attacked again it was terrifying. I was very out of it for a while after.

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I can totally understand having sza experiences and psychotic experiences that were so bizarre that I couldn’t explain them to people to where they could understand them.

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There are people i can and cant talk about stuff

Anna, when do things get better?

I know I’m just one person, but you need to make headway.

Don’t you think?

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My mind operates on two tracks. One is rational and deferential to social norms. The other is irrational and suspicious of every person and every situation.

I want to but every time I do something happens and sends me hurtling backwards progress wise. It’s a painfully slow process.

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If ur talking about actually dreaming then just from my experiences the meds dont help. Probably be waking up exhausted right?

work with your pdoc…get the meds you need so you don’t have to suffer…no problem at all…easily solved.

I’ve had something similar when i was a bit younger. I think it would only happen about once every 7 - 10 nights for many years and twice i’ve had it every night for 6 months i would have this kind of stuff… It was horrific
I have had multiple demons bite or rape me and was frequently dragged around spinning through different hells…by different forces… the physical feelings were incredibly intense there was so much fear and horror
I have had this at night with i hope imagined demons and in the day with my own colourful demon and other’s demons, while driving or while in a room together or not in a room together at the hospital for twice for 9 months - that was the time i was in hospital but not the full time i was psychotic was this and not all of the time nor was it only in hospital when it happened
i’ve had demons enter my chest and hold the smoke in from cigarettes and a dog friend who would sit on my chest at night to help remove them by morning.
i have been told i would die by the reaper, and have been warned of a near death encounter by him before a car accident.
i’ve had none of this since starting my strong medium or high dose typical medication -started in 2006
I hope that i am not being a prick here
it is possible to recover.
I honestly have no particular memory of what the long term night terror type experiences were
there could be a lot of other nightmare types, but i remember all the stuff i just said was pretty much the usual

strange. are you ok today?

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what you say about living in 2 worlds is how i would describe the first 10 -15 years of my schizophrenia

what do you mean strange?
If you mean these days i’m married and have been helping my mum recover from being hit by a car 4 months ago

I have been really paranoid in town most days at the minute
worried but otherwise sane

sorry - yes some of it was a bit strange

Absolutely I never feel well rested. I slept 12 hours and am still sleepy.

I’m not just talking about the psychosis, I’m talking about my dreams too. There is no difference in reality level between them and waking life. It’s just moving from one life to another when I sleep. I’ve had a whole other life there.

Yea i can sort of relate. I was in a coma for a little over two weeks when i was younger and the strange part about it was i was still living life like how i did at the time. I woke up, went to school and had conversations and everything. If it wasnt for me getting shot in that dream i would have never woke up. After that i never dreamed again until my voices started talking to me. That was like six years later. But my question is have these dreams you been having been like this or did they just start recently? I ask bcus i feel like the bad dreams are bad because of a medication change like u stopped one or added one. Ive heard of dreams becoming a second reality when starting and stopping a med or meds

I’ve had vivid and engaging dreams my whole life. Not all of them are nightmares. When I was little I was so horrified by what I saw in my nightmares I’d often go as soon as I woke up to check on my sleeping family members to make sure they were all still alive.