No one deserves this

The cross I bear, though not particularly Christian myself, would be undeserved on the back of one who actually deserved it. When asked what of what he has done my father’s voice responds that that is between him and God and when asked why that doesn’t work my way he responds “because I’m sick”.

I’m so lonely I just want to be alone. It’s like when I’m alone at times I yearn for company, and when I have that company I just want to curl up and be alone. I just balled my eyes out and at the end felt the same feeling of peace I felt back when I used to lay awake as a loved one napped beside me.

Yeah I’m way too emotional, but then it’s gotta come out somehow sometime.