No Adderall for Me

I had a talk with my pdoc today and I asked her right up if it’s off the table and she said “yes”. I think I’m going to process this next week during group. She reneged three times thus far.

We’re you previously taking it?

I can never take adderal. I tried it a couple times recreationally, and I just had way too much fun. I would abuse the hell out of an adderal prescription.

No. She thinks she gave it to me inpatient though, but I never got it. We’re at a disagreement over this. She said no because I’m schizo-affective and it will make it worse, but I don’t understand her previous remarks. Basically I struggle with negative symptoms and cognitive decline and I think Adderall would help. Maybe it’s a good thing because I think I can achieve remission. I don’t want to screw things up. Maybe I’m just being stupid.

She “unofficially” said I can take aniracetam though, which is like baby Adderall. She was kind of rude because I took it before I got her feedback. Thank god she’s putting me on geodon (after I asked her). I told her I heard it is good for weight gain and snidely disagreed.

Don’t get me wrong: I like her and respect her. She’s a great pdoc. She cares.

I think Adderal increases dopamine, which can trigger our positive symptoms. I’m not sure, though.

You’re right. It can also cause new positive symptoms and worsen existing ones.

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I’m schizoaffective as well. Depressive type. I take adderall. A couple years ago my doc thought I had add and bipolar. After finally opening up after two years, it was determined that I have schizoaffective, but we realized adderall helped with my irritability and lashing out/throwing things at people. So, we use it off-label to treat my depression and irritability.
It has helped me so, so much.

I think I’m in a ■■■■ situation right now. I didn’t have a diagnosis until recently from her. I was on a low dose of AP and took Topamax and became extremely, extremely paranoid. I was floridly psychotic. Honestly, I blame Topamax. If you look up the side effects, it can cause paranoia and psychosis. When I got off of it, I started to improve.

I was willing to play Russian Roulette with my mental health, but maybe I shouldn’t.

Adderall rapidly induces a manic episode in me. Be careful if you ever get some.

If your looking for more energy a few big coffees should help.

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what is Adderall for

It’s a stimulant, so is used to help people stay awake and to improve concentration.

It also is sometimes prescribed off label for treatment resistant depression.

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It is also sometimes used illegally for weight loss. And it is the most heavily used drug on college campuses in the US, because it can make people want to study for like twelve hours straight.

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Another reason I want it. For weight loss and studying. The call it speed for PHDs for a reason.

Have you tried it before? It isn’t a healthy form of weight loss, because it frequently results in malnutrition. Make sure to take your vitamins!

No I haven’t.

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I used to lick the back of my teeth until my tongue was raw while I was on it.