Hello,
I’m new to the community. Just looking for some hope and some support in my recovery with schizophrenia.
A little bit about myself. I was diagnosed in 2009 with schizophrenia and my belief that I was setup with a conspiracy because I’m a psychic and with that comes the dellusions, auditory hallucinations and much more…
like I’m being cyberstalked and harassed all day even having the proof online to prove myself because of my schooling with ip addresses and what not and one point seeing atleast if not 100 or more ip addresses. I have the hard facts about what I see online but in reality what I hear and see around me makes me feel more or less like a psychic and not a mental health problem.
In the therapy world she considers it a mental health problem because I have no hard facts to prove myself, even though I do but it doesn’t make any sense to her because its not face book or anything she can understand on her level of expertise.
I feel at times I being blinded from the truth because if like I say that it is a conspiracy nobody knows anyways right? unless I’m part of it… Accept the fact I might beable to see right through you at times. I don’t dare ask her if she can hear what I can hear? or maybe if I went through national archive for un edited television shows and compiled all of it that I saw on TV and in the media it might be different or maybe im the only one that can see it who knows.
The fact that I feel like a wuss everyday I wake up and cant get it out of my head sometimes its like this unconscious thought I have all the time. I just feel like a wuss for some reason. Great motivation huh?
On the upside of all of this I’ve been sober for almost 4yrs now in my recovery. Have a roof over my head and I’m stable. I stay busy doing some volunteer work to keep busy and I stay active in my community where I live at to help out and cope with the grieving process of it. I workout daily with a buddy of mine or we try too. My biggest motivator in times of crisis is to stay busy and stay focused and don’t look back if you don’t have to always let remind you always KEEP your Enemies closer!
Thanks guys!
I appreciate the resources and neighborly comments, ill be around for sure. I think, I might have some good insight for you guys, but I took a different approach to my mental health problems after accepted the fact that I actually had schizophrenia. That was to understand the fighting styles of my mental health problems like for instance if my auditory hallucinations are constantly name-calling. I can associate it with name calling or if my mental health problems are telling me that people are Treating me differently I can associate with that what it triggers etc… the point is to identify. Not only as mental health problem. Its a form of coping as well. Have a good one.
I’ve been fighting this Sz affliction for over a decade now…
My music and my humor are my only two bullets against this beast. So if you catch me posting some awful jokes or terrible 80’s hairband music, well that usually means I’m in fine form and holding up well.
Hey, thanks for the info. I’ve been in and out of therapy for the past 10yrs or so. I’ve got some pretty good reading materials from them, Ill have to share it sometime. Thanks for the info.
Well some of the stuff I read isn’t on schizophrenia itself but more or less the roots of my history persay. Everybody has these wounds that they tend too in better words. Either psychologically from trauma or physical ailments or mental health. So I had to do some digging on subjects like
-dysfunctional families
-iron john is good book to read about men
-all about men (funny book from a dr. perspective)
-wild at heart (religious faith based book pretty good)
behavioral sciences (a little above and beyond in my healing but I read through it hallway and stopped to scientific for me and information overload but big change on perspective on behavior that’s for sure)
-Cognitive behavioral therapy
-Idiots guide to persuasion
-Boundaries by john townsend (religious based but it you gets thinkn about the values in relationships in respect to our boundaries and limits)
-As a man thinketh… by james allen (older book but good reading on thought of power and seed you sow with it)
Anger avoiders ( I don’t remember much on this book but I thought I was like this with my paranoia etc.)
-Everything psychology (good for understanding how we think feel, how are desires motivate us etc.)
The Flying Boy ( read a while back its about man who struggles with his relationship with his father and anger issues pretty much how it affects his relationships in the future)
and then theres my delusional aspect of my mental health topics which would be:
-manipulation and psychotronics
-fear conditioning
-name calling
-Art of war
-Computer topics (IT/security, understanding IP addresses and who is logging on to your computers remotely via command line or TCP View good software eye opener for vulnerabilities in software applications)
-Deception
-planning and assessing
-thinking like them
-psychological warfare and operations
-Exploring the psychic frontier psychic warfare (good read, covers psychotronics and how its applied but its older)
What is conspiracy, solicitation and attempt and inchoate organized crimes
-What is power? how is it defined? how does it apply to me and my mental health problems?
(some of this may be triggering so watch yourself if you choose to look up some of these topics)
all of this can be found online just google it.
Other then that I haven’t read into anything on schizophrenia but those areas because of some of my history growing up the way I did. I was complete denial and had a lot of issues in my twenties about what was really going on and it affected my relationships, work and other areas. See I didn’t fully grieve over some of these issues ( or full range of emotions like I should) but I did eventually over time and it took a lot of work to get to where I’m at today.
So leading up too all of this they diagnosed me with schizophrenia because of all of this and what was going on at the time I was diagnosed. Like I’ve said before I didn’t see the signs ( I felt like I was in a constant altered state/hypnosis) like I know now and I’m fully AWARE of whats going on after taking a pounding like I did. I will say that I’m a survivor.
have a good one and hopefully this will help in your recovery!
intounknown
I forgot one other. Art of Insanity for the delusional part that’s online as well.
I kind of make this look like I’ve had a rough horrible life it wasn’t that bad but just key moments in my life that stick out. That happened overall it wasn’t that bad just certain moments. I’ve had a lot of fun with my life doing a lot of things but struggled with this schizo pandemic for most of my life and didn’t know it so it affected me in many ways especially with relationships and those key moments in my history especially when it came to grieving expressing my feelings but like I said in the other post.
I’ve gone a long ways and if it wasn’t for going into therapy in '05 I don’t know where I would be or what would be going on probably still being a bar fly or something and just getting nice and tore up, but the way I look at its like lifes to short not too we all go through mid life crisis mine just happen to be in my twenties.
Have a good one!
intounknown
(hope some of those resources can help you guys struggling with any of these issues)
these are just some them and theres plenty more. See some of this government protects and is very secretive especially with technology nowadays but some it gets online like this stuff or what others have had to say about So you never really know whats going on with uncle sam these days but this is an eye opener for sure.
and 
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