Schizophrenia.com

New Opportunities

Things are going really well. I haven’t had symptoms in over a week and I met someone new. We met last night with my friend and her wife. My friend thought we would get along well. He’s really nice. His name is Jason and he’s such a gentleman. We were hanging out at a local bar and he bought us wings and was buying me drinks. The beer was cheap but the gesture made me feel really good. I’m used to being taken advantage of because of my kindness so to have a guy treat me good is unfamiliar territory. From what my friend says Jason is also taken advantage of because of his kindness so I think we make a good fit for each other. He came over tonight for a second date and we watched the new Hunger Games movie. It was really good. I’m so used to being a loner. Since reconnecting with my friend and her wife they’ve really started to pull me out of my shell. Sometimes I feel guilty when people treat me nice. It’s like no you’re not supposed to do that. I think this is a new step in my recovery.

For a while there things were getting pretty hairy. I started hearing voices which I rarely do, and getting visual hallucinations and delusions. It really seemed to be increasing and I was also having thought blocking. It made my doctors really nervous because I stopped getting the ECT treatments. Now my pdoc won’t adjust my meds until I start getting treatments again. I feel like she has a gun to my head because I have a lot of anxiety surrounding the treatments. I woke up too soon from the anesthesia and was paralyzed from the muscle relaxer so because I couldn’t control my breathing I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It only lasted a couple of minutes but my therapist feels I have some PTSD from the experience so I’m scared to death to get the treatments. I have to come off of the Risperdal because my Prolactin levels are high so I need my pdoc to adjust my meds but to do that I need to have the treatments. She has a gun to my head. :gun: Oh well. I’m excited for this new relationship so it looks like things are taking a turn for the better. :heartbeat: :sunny:

4 Likes

Mate,I hope your relationship with Jason can advance till a level you wanted…i missed 2 chances of going into a relationship because of my illness,I try my best not to miss the next chance of relationship if it were the right person,we only lived once,so must cherish every relationship

1 Like

I used to be in that boat. If anyone but my family did something nice I either didn’t trust it or I was sure I didn’t deserve it. But now I enjoy it and thank the people who are being nice.

Also, we put kindness out into the atmosphere, we will get kindness back.

Glad you have reconnected with a friend and that someone new has entered your life.

2 Likes

Congrats @SunGirl, Im happy for you - on your new relationship :smiley:

2 Likes

Relationships are great for mentally ill people. As a paranoid schizophrenic, it means trust and vulnerability to be close to people, I still had one good friend during the depths of my psychosis, I trusted him more than anyone else on the planet. He’s still around. In fact I recently had sex with him, even though he is straight. He doesn’t want to do it again (he was just bicurious) but it was nice to be that close to a good friend.

2 Likes