II don’t know how to explain that but I am going to try.
I am usually quiet or weird with my friends because I became this way and they know about some of my problems and they realize them, but a few hours ago I’ve smoke some weed with they and a lot of depressing thoughts arrive to my mind telling me the true, that I’m useless, I was unable of say or do anything just smoke cigarrets for hours just wanting to be alone, making them uncomfortable, and thinking in never coming with them because I thought I’m ruining their life…
This is really depresing I’m thinking in to give me up in to have friends and don’t have social interactions forever.
Just come to my mind askings about my future… And the answers are so bad.
I don’t even know why I’m writting this here but I need to vent…
2 Likes
If you don’t have a therapist, I would fine one. He/She can help guide you in the right direction to feeling better. I am sorry that you feel down. I sometimes feel like an utter failure and loser. It is very painful to feel that way. I hope you feel better.
2 Likes
Try not to be so hard on yourself. We all make bad decisions. Good friends are hard to find for sure. But weed is not good, especially if you have a mental illness.
But don’t beat yourself up over it 
1 Like
@47average @Chrishasheart Thanks…!!! 
1 Like
Weed is not everyone’s friend, but you can still be friends with people that smoke it, hopefully they will see that the weed is no good for you and not do it around you, that’s all, but it shouldn’t change the friendship between you and them.
If you are lucky this is an isolated, one-time, incident that your friends will overlook. Hopefully, they will understand that everybody has off days. You are not ruining their lives by making them uncomfortable you’re mostly hurting yourself.
But, one sure way for someone who has schizophrenia to ruin their life is to smoke marijuana even if you know that it has negative effects on you.
Stopping marijuana use may eliminate quite a few problems and I think you understand that.
1 Like
I dont mean that weed is the problem for not going with my friends, the problem it’s me… Because when I don’t smoke I too have intrusive thoughts and feel weird, and a lot of times have this thoughts of fedling me unable to interact and due that I think I shouldn’t go anymore. But… It’s a difficult time for me handle with the situation… They couldn’t understand because I prefer to be in home than with them…
This happen when you don’t find meaning in life or happiness in the monent… For someone normal it could help, but it for us just dig more hole… You are right… Seems like we don’t have right to feel good, at least for me… Happiness, where are you ??