I have been having a really hard time especially with living alone and the past few years feel increasingly like I’m reaching breaking point since having to leave my abusive parents 3 years ago.
I basically live in poverty and I work but I feel like I desperately need to stop working for a while, and I can’t go on disability.
I feel an intense need to go home and I desperately miss my father who I had a close relationship but he manipulated and abandoned me and thinks he did nothing wrong. I have been in pain over it for years.
But with SzA I feel increasingly like I need family. I keep thinking if I talk to him enough and he sees how bad things are he would understand, but I can’t tell if I’m not thinking clearly. I desperately wish I could go home and wish I could have my dad back even though I sustained a lot of trauma from my home. I am very close to trying to talk to him…I am just kind of venting and asking maybe for advice or perspective.
It’s good to mend fences sometimes. Maybe making up with your dad is the smart thing to do at this juncture in your life. Before you make any big decisions maybe put out some feelers and see where your dads’ at right now. Maybe send a friendly, little letter to see what he’s up to and see if he’s accepting of you and your plight. You don’t need to spill your guts and tell him everything in the first few contacts but just kind of see how receptive he is to you.