Need some advise

I grew up in a house where I was sexually abused by both parents, emotionally abused by both parents, physically abused by both parents and mentally abused by both parents. I was also abused by our parish priest. At the age of sixteen I was emancipated and didn’t see my parents for years. My mother died of chronic granluetytic leukemia seven years ago. She was psychotic, chased me with an axe, tried to light me on fire with gasoline. I didn’t go to her death bed just to her funeral. My dad’s developed Alzheimer’s and is fading fast. My sister looks after him. They live three hours away. She is a roaring alcoholic. I don’t have a car. My sister says since I’m not working (on disability and not stable) that I should come up and visit for a weekend. I don’t want to go. Every time she brings it up I have nightmares and flashbacks and the voices get louder. What should I do?

Start with taking your meds, therapy is a good next stop as you have a lot of healing to do.

Do you have a case worker btw? Was thinking getting a social worker involved with your family is a good start also.

I don’t think you should pay that visit your sister required of you. It’s meaningless given that your father has developed Alzheimer. There is no possibility that you and your father can reach a reconciliation due to his illness. Before that reconciliation is done, no visit is meaningful from your perspective.


You don’t owe it to
Them and it wouldn’t be good for your health to visit.

Tell her there is no way in hell you’d make that trip. Ever. If she doesn’t understand, enlighten her.


How exactly do I enlighten her when most of the time I talk to her she is drunk. As far as I know you can’t reason with a drunk.

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As far as I know you can’t reason with a drunk.

So true.

Just keep saying no.


Perhaps it’s better if you don’t visit them specially when you have clear indication that it may trigger your illness. Just excuse with your sister when she is in her senses.

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You do whatever it takes to remain stable and relaxed. I don’t think it would be a crime, if you decided not to be around abusive or toxic people. I would think that your stability and happiness comes first


My brain is screaming… DON’T GO! Please don’t go. I’m sorry your sister is in no fit state to see reason… but if just thinking about it is filling you with nightmares and flashbacks… then please don’t go.

this could be horribly triggering to see this man in person. Just because he’s developed Alzheimer’s doesn’t mean he’s become a kind person. This could get ugly fast.

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