NEED HELP PLEASE

So I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2016. I had just started a new relationship and we were trying to have kids. During that whole time I was happy as can be. But I also started hearing voices. They were all the people within 20 miles from me. At first it didn’tbother me. I just ignored and went with it. After I got diagnosed and found out couldnt have kids no more. I was still okay I was just happy to be alive. And all the voices stopped. Or if I did hearthem they told me how amazing I was. They the radiation screwed my kidneys and bladder up and about 3 1/2 months after my recovery I started peeing my pants and got put on opiates and drs completely forgot about me. Now I’m a recovering heroin stick and putting me on 100 mg of morphine is just gona make me depressed. Which it did. I had isolated my self on my room and cut the whole world out. I eventually took myself off the pills and it took me 3 years to find a dr to fix me cuz I was still peeing my pants. Now the voices never went away I thought it was from the cancer or mayb drugs. But it never goes away. I feel like the wholeworld is against me or losing to my face. But then they always wanna talk in our heads but it’s never in my head its through everything I hear through water,fans,tv, anything even cars. For a while they made fun of me cuz I am a little weird but so what. Not it came to the point where I think everyone is living still. And Imade up bad stuff about my self just to see if someone would hear and talk to me that Iwasnt crazy. I some how say disgusting ■■■■ and its all lies. I mean I’m saying I have STDs in my ears and eyes and sayingevery guy I talk to I’m doingthe naughty with. Which I’m not. Eww. Now i somehow can’t make it stop!! The voices are always there. And I just started working about a month ago and I hear ppl in the bar saying they can hear me and I’m a hussy or disgusting. And I’m not!! I’mactually amazing and a talented artist. But when the voices tell me I’m disgusting or yell at me to shut up. I’m saying everyone in my life is stupid and I hate them. Which I do not!! I was never like this I’m afraid to be myself cuz I’mafraid ppl will call me fake or laugh at me and my boyfriend is a little stereotypical. And it made me confused like judging myself with what I wear or do or music I listen to. Its had me stuck in my house all summer not painting or really caring for my garden. My one dr. Diagnosed me with ptsd depression and OCD. Now I’m super ocd. My closet is color organized and shirt organized. I keep all my stuff in plastic bags. I’m so screwed up cuz I’m constantly saying bad stuff thatisn’t true. And i swear ppl in this community can hear each other. I dont like it. I’ve put a wall up that’s gross and eewy. And I make stuff up about my past. I really didn’t have gross things in my past I only did drugs and wasn’t ashamed of it cuz I always worked my butt off to get high. But I feel like I’mfading away. Stuck with negative voices reminding me of stuff so I make new stories up so the voices will stop. I really wanna stop saying I’m doingshit that I’m not. It makes me cry. And the meds I’m on are just making me think more and more that they are real. I am confused. My past does not bother me one bit I’m proud ofwho I am. I see my self repeating aword or a sentance that other ppl say. Like this but that lives downthe road. And another thing I dont really have friends that I talk toevery day. Everytime I get close I say mean things in myhead cause I think everyone’s lying to me and laughing at me. I’m am hypacondriac as well and I watch TV or read something and i think i got it from the tv??? Weirdright. I am a very spiritual and holy person. I’m trying to be myself and ppl laugh at me. I’m abeliever in stuff i believe that I’m a special person cause I’ve had visions of past lifestylesand dreams that were so holy. And me thinking the world heard me is making me crazy. So I apologize every day for theshit my head says. Andsays the only truth comes out of my mouth put loud I’m a sweat girl. I also say thathat im cheating on my bf. Andsay I gotta go get a pap test. It really dragging me down. I was an exotic dancer but wasnt adirty one. I just danced. That where my bf rescued me from an abusive and toxic marriage. I hated that job. So Ineed some advice. I think theres really people able to talk through our heads!! I think it’s making me crazy. There isalso a few ppl that give me clues sometime that theyhear me. They’ll repeat something I’ve said. And oncthat started happening I made my mind gross. I was just joking at 1st it was funny now its driving me crazy where I thinkabout hurting myself. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!:kissing_heart::sob:

The best is to see a pdoc and get a diagnosis of schizophrenia they can give medication to help with the voices

If your hearing voices you need to seek help from a medical professional. The voices are not real by the way. If you are experiencing paranoia as well they could get you on meds to help you.

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