i put a happy face on my face for my friends and family to see but inside i am dying
the voices are so intense…i have tried re-taking my medication but only managing 3 out of 7 days due to the voices telling me they are poison…i cant get past this and they are controlling me
nurse came out last thursday after a 2 week holiday absent but he did ask for his colleague to ring me during those two weeks he was off and they never
i rang the crisis team early hours the week before in urgent need of someone to talk to what the voices are telling me to do …i rang them and the woman asked what team i was under and she said to ring the team later on in the morning and ask them for help i told her that the nurse was off and i wasnt aware of being under anyone else and she just turned round and said oh they will help you…i rang the team llike she said and the receptionist recognized my voice and she she would leave a message for them to ring me asap
no on rang me back and i self harmed to release the pressure in my body and to keep the voices off my back
nurse wasnt happy when he heard this happened with the crisis team and his colleague not ringing me
he has seen i havent improved in the two weeks he was absent but i told him i am fine he asked me if i would go into a crisis house i said no and he asked me if i would think about hospital and i said i dont need hospital…i am not ill…i dont feel ill neither
i see a specialist about my stomach problems and whatever that outcome is the nurse asked me to contact him on how i get on and he said he will make decisions next thursday when he comes…i am asking anybody if you know what that means? i am so confused at the moment…i am trying to keep myself busy but its hard
the voices do not control you…
you know the difference between wrong and right…good and bad.
it is best if you distract the mind…watching t.v…radio…
as for the stomach…probiotics re; balance your stomach bacteria thus alleviating any discomfort.
if you have serious pains see a health professional.
know someone cares
take care
If I hear voices today I’m critical enough to chalenge them. When I wasn’t taking my meds that wasn’t the case. They will always tell you that you don’t need your meds, it happened to me too. You need to define for yourself that it’s you in charge, not your voices.
@caz Really good advice when the voices are screeching. I had to do this. I had to put clothes on and go out for walks. I had to fix meals. I had to find distractions I could manage.
And I had force the meds down regardless of what the bloddy voices said. I had to tell them to p##s off and leave me alone.
Wait why do you take painkillers? Are they prescribed?
5mg Haldol wtf you should be sedated and sane as ■■■■. You must have a severe case. That’s okay, my case is almost as bad.
You do need to never hurt yourself, if you get the impulse to do so, do something else like break a pencil or go for a walk or a run if you are in running shape. That’s some death impulse energy that needs to be put somewhere other than into hurting yourself or someone else. I suggest that you exercise, I do quite intensely and it helps.
Just don’t drink on all those meds. That would be very dangerous.
i take painkillers that are prescribed…not to worry
i cant exercise as i have arthritis in my knee and hip…i do light walking if i am with someone but if i am alone i dont
i am tee-total…i dont drink alcohol
I’m on 10 mgs of haldol, and i still hear voices and sometimes they are scary as ■■■■. (pardon the language) They are demanding, rude, evil, and just hellish. Except baliel.
i had a really bad day today…someone upset me today that it brought me to tears so i messaged my nurse to let him know it was bank holiday monday next monday as he had arranged to see me so he messaged me backto say he would see me next tuesday at 12 and i messaged him back said ok but wanted to ask you had my keyworker emailed him this week and he said yes but didnt understand what she was asking as she said things that we have already discussed meaning me and him…he asked me if i was ok and is there a problem, i messaged him back and said yes there is a problem but not with you or my keyworker no worries but tried to explain in a message that i had confided in my keyworker this was tuesday as she had said i avoided eye contact and am very quiet and that when i started talking i broke down and said i am a ****ing burden on everyone…if someone dies around me its my fault everyones out to get me my keyworker hadnt put this in the email to my nurse as i asked her not to till he came back from his holiday on the 14th september so she said she would email him a bit of basic stuff i talked about but the nurse had already discussed with me about it…i messaged him that i am crying writing this and he messaged me to say we really need to talk then dont we so he said he would see me at 12 and i said i cant because i am ****ing stuck outside my friends house… who died last year …i am waiting for a delivery from a furniture store…they were supposed to come last week but delivered elsewhere so rearranged and i have been here since 7.30am this morning…i have had no sleep and i am ***ked off now…its the first time i have used swear words to my nurse …he messaged me back to ask if 3pm will be ok to see me and i said i dont know beacuse i dont know if the delivery will arrive…at 1.30pm i messaged someone of my friend and asked if he had heard from the delivery store and he messaged back to say they delivered earlier on this week and there was no need for me to be there…i had sat there last week from 7am till 2.15pm for nothing and this week from 7.30am till 1.30pm…i just lost it…i cried all the way home…so messaged my nurse to see if he was busy then but he texted back to say sorry but can we move to plan b and see you on tuesday at 12pm as he was with someone from the secure unit is this ok…i said yes see you tuesday…i have 3 days to wait till i am supposed to see him…i have got to get out of seeing him as hes been asking me to have a mental health assessment for ages and i have been avoiding it and avoiding the care team
i go away on a little break next thursday till the following tuesday and my nurse goes away next saturday and isnt back in work till the 14th september…i would rather wait till i am back off my break to speak to him because i dont want to be a burden on anyone…i dont even talk with my dad about stuff cos he only rings/messages me all the time worrying…everyone hates me
sorry for long post if you got this far …thankyou for reading if you did
